A Sirius Situation
by Clinically Insane
Summary: Mpreg, if you do not care for it, please go on your merry way. Sirius is gone, but Remus quickly discovers the Black line will continue. Pandemonium ensues when Snape gets roped into the ordeal by Albus. Lucius’ big mouth has Voldemort thrilled with the p
1. Remus Regurgitates

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 1: Remus Regurgitates

Hurk

cough-cough

"Ugh, when will this end!" groaned a miserable Remus as he found himself, once again, worshiping the porcelain god.

For the past week and a half, if you'll excuse the pun, Remus had been as sick as a dog. He found himself throwing up at all hours of the day and night. Not to mention, the fact, that no matter how early he went to bed he didn't wake up until noon, when he wasn't throwing up he was eating whatever he could get his hands on and everything in the house smelled funny, including Molly and Arthur.

Yes, you read that correctly, Molly and Arthur. You see, ever since Sirius Black's untimely demise Remus was terribly depressed. After the funeral, Lupin returned to his flat where he stayed for three weeks, in misery, before anyone formally came calling. Unfortunately for the werewolf, it was his old schoolmate, Snape.

Now don't get me wrong, Molly had wanted to go over to Lupin's flat to check up on him-an exponential amount times-but Arthur was, for once, able to keep his wife at bay by saying "Merlin, Molly! The man is grieving, give him some time alone!" However, the temporarily contained Mrs. Weasley would not be deterred and recruited Tonks to take over a plate of food everyday. Although Tonks, not wanting to intrude on Remus' solitude, just left the covered meals outside the door after knocking, then she would walk away - a drop and run, if you will.

In the beginning, when Tonks returned the next day the dish she had left the night before would be sitting outside the door completely empty and washed, but by the tail end of the second week Remus was only taking the food in every other day. When Snape arrived, at the end of the third week, Remus had completely stopped taking the food in all together.

The only reason Snape had shown up was to drop off the wolfsbane potion. Let's take a look, shall we?

The snarky potions professor had arrived promptly outside the werewolf's humble abode at 5:30 pm, knocked twice and waited for a response. When he received none, Snape proceeded to knock a little harder, accidentally jostling the door open in the process. It swung open slowly and soundlessly to reveal an extremely small sitting area/kitchenette.

"Lupin…" Snape called softly as he walked through the supposed living room that contained only a battered plaid couch.

"Here boy," Severus tried again as he walked through the kitchenette, which consisted of a refrigerator, a stove and a sink against a half wall. Diagonal from the refrigerator was a severely scratched up, small, square table shoved in a corner with two muggle folding chairs pushed in under it.

Snape pressed on, taking a right into the bedroom, which was small to begin with, but with the king size bed against wall opposite the kitchen there was hardly two feet of clearance around all three sides of the bed that were exposed. Remus was barley visible under the comforter with his face in a pillow.

"Gods Lupin," Snape cursed under his breath, "it's been nearly a month, surely you're not still mourning over that mutt!"

It was at this point that the lump in the comforter began to shake slightly and sob softly.

Snape rolled his eyes and withdrew a few shrunken bottles of potion form his pocket, restored them to regular size and placed them on the floor next to the foot of the bed, "Here. You'd best take it soon. There should be enough to get you through the full moon. When it's over I'll come back for the bottles, as the moon begins to wane."

"Just go away," said Remus hoarsely between choked sobs.

"Fine, fine, have it your way," seceded Snape pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'll ward the rooms and the front door before I leave."

A few days later Snape returned and found the werewolf exactly as he left him: face down in a pillow and under the comforter. The bottles of wolf's bane potion still sat at the foot of the bed with their seals unbroken. It was strange however, there was no physical proof of Lupin's transformation: no shredded pillows or sheets, no claw marks on the wall. Hell, there weren't even any teeth marks in sight!

Snape just chalked it up to Moony being depressed as well as Remus and proceeded to pull back the comforter to heal Lupin's wounds as Dumbledore had instructed him to do. Only when he peeled back the covers he saw a sight that made him gasp. Rather than cuts and bruises Snape found himself staring at an emaciated werewolf. All of Lupin's ribs were visible, it was the thinnest Severus had ever seen Remus.

"FUCKING MERLIN!" exclaimed Snape as he pulled Remus out of bed and transported him to 12 Grimuld as fast as he could. There was no point in taking him to Hogwarts because Poppy was off at a Medi-witch conference and St. Mungo's had strict policies about the admittance of Dark Creatures, which generally resulted in hours of paper work before they would even consider sending a doctor to check Remus over.

The portkey took them from Remus' apartment to the front stoop of 12 Grimuld Place where Snape nearly blew the front door off its hinges, waking the painting of Sirius' mother up!

"Oh, sod off you stupid bint!" Severus swore at the painting, which merely continued its ravings, "MOLLY, ARTHUR, COME QUICK!" The Potion's Master bellowed over the painting.

Tea cups could be heard falling and smashing on the kitchen floor as rapid footsteps came up the hall.

"Oh sweet Merlin!" shouted Molly when she saw the state of Remus.

"Severus what happened!" demanded a distraught Minerva coming into the foyer on Molly's heels.

Out of the corner of his eye Snape could see Mad Eye Moody shutting the painting's curtains, "Snape, you've got some explaining to do!"

"Later Moody," scolded Arthur brining up the rear as he came in after Minerva, "let's just get him upstairs!"

Half an hour later after Remus had been given a quick once over by a medi-wizard Moody had been able to flag down in record time he was left in the care of Molly, while Snape faced an interrogation by Moody, Minerva and Arthur. Needless to say Snape was not in a good mood by the time he got back to school.

----

Snape was not looking to returning to Hogwarts. I know it seems odd, but you're just going to have to trust me on this one. You see, ever since Draco's first year, Narcissa had taken it upon herself to find a companion for the Potion's Master, to the point that every Sunday night, Snape dined at Malfoy manner with Lucius and Narcissa and whatever heiress she could find. A bunch of air heads after the Snape fortune, lands, estates and the "family jewels" as far as Severus was concerned. All of them dressed to the proverbial nines and were entirely overdone in the way of glamour charms.

Poor Snape (not a phrase you read very often), he would then be subjected to hours of incessant prattle as he sat through a five course meal. Narcissa would nothing short of interview each girl, grilling her about her heritage, breeding, power, wealth and fertility…yes, it was **that** degrading. Luckily, for Snape by the time dessert was being served he always had the excuse that he had to teach the next day and was unable to stay any longer.

Long about Draco's third year, Narcissa decided to expand the playing field. Then not only the heiresses were coming to dinner, but their brothers too! At first Severus was amused, but after he wound up with an unwanted foot in his croch, under the table, his good humor quickly faded.

Now these dinners had become nothing more than a chore to endure. All Severus could do was try to get comfortable for the next couple of hours. On the bright side, he could plan out his next submission to Potions Monthly.

However his thoughts were interrupted by Lucius halfway through the third course when Narcissa kicked her husband in the shin under the table, "Severus, is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course. Why?" asked Snape.

"You just seem distant is all," said Lucius, "Something on your mind?"

"Nothing of great weight," responded Snape.

Little did the Potions' Master know of the conversation between the Malfoys later that night in Lucius' room (Yes, Lucius' room. You see the Malfoys were very old fashioned in the sense that even though they were married they retained separate rooms. Well, that and Narcissa really had no desire to know what Lucius did with his spare time in a bedroom. And now that we've resolved that we can resume the story). After many acts that are considered illegal by many muggle governments and most likely the Ministry of Magic, the Lord and Lady of the manor lay staring up at the ceiling.

Narcissa looked over at her husband, whose eyes were shut and whose breathing had begun to slow and even out, "Lucius?"

Damn, he knew this was coming. Lucius could count on one hand the number of times his wife had taken him up on an invitation back to his room after Sunday dinner since Draco was born. And every time she had it was because she wanted to discuss something. And every time she had to wait until after they had just finished, when he was half asleep and none of the blood was in his head.

"Hmm?" Lucius lazily looked over at his wife, "Are you still here?"

SWAT!

"What!" snapped Lucius, who only wanted to sleep at this point.

"He was acting very odd earlier." Narcissa reasoned conspiratorially, "He's seeing someone. I just know it!"

"Who?" asked Lucius.

"Severus!"

Lucius sighed, "If I promise to look into it, can I sleep now?"

"Yes," said Narcissa getting up from the bed and heading back to her room.

That was another thing. Narcissa never stuck around afterward, ever. Not that Lucius minded, she was, after all, a very independent woman, but all the same it struck him as odd. To date, he had never seen her rooms.

---

Molly spent the next two weeks nursing Remus back to health. In the beginning she nearly had to force feed him, but by the third week she was quite pleased to notice an adequate increase in Lupin's apatite.

The forth week Snape came by with the wolf's bane potion, sealed Remus in his room, and cast a spell on the bed to ensure the werewolf would sleep through the transformation. But, once again, when Severus returned to release Lupin from the confines of the room he found the potion untouched, Remus asleep in bed and no damage, what so ever, done to the room. This time Snape chalked it up to the spell he had cast on the bed.

However, it was after this full moon that Remus' vomiting began and after a week of thinking it was a stomach bug Molly finally began to nag Remus about going to see Poppy. Which brings us to the present:

The meeting of the Order had just let out and everyone was heading to the dining room, when Remus stopped short in the hall upon receiving a whiff of food. He visibly paled and leaned against the wall for stability, while trying to override his gag reflex.

And Arthur coming up behind him and slapping on the back didn't help. Rather it resulted in forcing Remus to make a mad dash for the loo, launching Tonks into Fred and George, who in turn fell onto Mad Eye Moody. Needless to say, they all lost their balance and wound up in a heap before Minerva's feet with George and Tonks ending up in a rather inappropriate position.

"Why Tonks this is so sudden," commented George as his hand found its way to an improper place.

Tonks smiled sweetly for a moment then…

SLAP!

She left a red hand print on the side of George's face (Eh, look at the bright side, at least they'll be able to tell the twins apart-for a little while).

Meanwhile Snape was preparing to leave via the fireplace in the sitting room when Molly walked in.

"Oh, Severus, there you are," she said walking into the room as he had just taken a handful of flu powder.

Severus groaned inwardly. He did not need this right now!

"I was wondering if…" Molly began.

Snape held up his hand, "Save your breath, you know I never stay for dinner."

"Oh, honestly!" exclaimed Molly incredulously, "I wanted to know if you had seen Remus."

"Why would I have seen the werewolf?" asked Snape sneering.

"Well, Ron said you restock the medical wing on Tuesdays." Molly explained.

"Everyone knows that." said Snape pinching the bridge of his nose. He was quickly becoming tired of the conversation.

"From what I understand it takes the better part of the afternoon and I was just curious if you had seen Remus when he went in to see Poppy."

"No one came to see Poppy all afternoon, except a first year Hufflepuff, who cracked a rib in a flying accident. Other than her, Poppy was in her office all afternoon."

"I see," said Molly whose eye had begun to twitch slightly, "Thank you, Severus."

She turned and walked to the threshold of the room before she bellowed, "REMUS JOHN LUPIN, YOU ARE IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE WHEN I FIND YOU!"

Needless to say everyone in the dining room froze. They all knew Remus was in for it now, considering the tone Molly had just used was normally reserved for when the twins went on a rampage.

Unfortunately for Remus all Molly had to do was follow the retching up to the loo on the second floor. She reached the bathroom with Severus in tow, because let's face it if there was going to be marauder blood shed, there was no way in hell he was going to miss it. Mrs. Weasley threw the door open to find a very weak Remus steadying himself against the sink.

"Remus, I thought I told you to go see Poppy!" scolded Molly with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.

"I-I'm (hard swallow) fine" Lupin choked out.

"You most certainly are not! So help me if you don't head straight for the fireplace I will stupefy and mobilicorpus you to Poppy myself." said Molly reaching for her wand.

"GGGGGRRRRRRR!"

Molly froze in the midst of removing her wand from her pocket, "Are you growling at me?"

Severus took this opportunity to get between Molly and Remus, "Molly, slowly back away and go downstairs, his eyes are starting to lighten."

"I-He's never-what's wrong with…" Molly stammered.

"Merlin's balls, woman, run!"

Without another word Molly tuned tail ran downstairs.

Snape turned back to Remus, "Moony, you have to understand I mean you no harm. There's something wrong with Lup-er-Remus. He's very weak. I know you can feel it. Let me take you to Poppy. You remember Poppy, she took care of Remus at Hogwarts, yes?"

Snape waited for a response.

There was a pause before Remus winced in pain and Moony whimpered.

"Yes, then?"

Moony made Remus nod and Snape helped them downstairs, where everyone had congregated at the bottom of the stairs. Fortunately, Dumbledore made them clear a path to the sitting room, when Remus started growling again.

"Severus, make sure Poppy sees him straight away and don't worry about your Hogsmeade duty, I'll find someone else to cover it." said Albus.

Snape nodded, while grabbing a handful of flu powder, "Hogwarts, Poppy's Office."


	2. Mommy Mooney

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 2: Mommy Mooney

"What seems to be the problem?" asked Poppy when Snape arrived with Lupin/Mooney.

"GGGRRRRR!"

"Easy, Mooney!" said Snape trying to maintain a firm hold of Remus' small frame, "That's Poppy!"

"GGGRRRRRR!"

"It's alright, Severus," Poppy assured the Potions Master, "Mooney hasn't seen me in quite awhile. Here." Poppy held out her hand so Mooney could smell it.

As soon as Mooney recognized her, Remus became much more manageable.

"Alright, Mooney, now that you know you aren't in danger" said Poppy calmly, "can I speak with Remus?"

There was a pause. Then Remus eyes ceased to glow and he collapsed into Snape, barely able to stand up.

The Medi-Witch motioned him to a bed.

"What happened?" asked Remus as Snape sat him down on the bed.

"Mooney decided to come to dinner," said Snape.

"WHAT!" exclaimed Remus, "Mooney can't do that, the full moon is nearly half a month away!...And when did we get to Hogwarts!"

"Clam down, Remus," said Poppy, "I heard you've sick lately…"

"To say the least," Snape interjected snidely.

"Why don't you tell me the symptoms you've been experiencing," Poppy continued, ignoring Severus' interruption.

"Nausea, dizziness, vomiting and increased appetite-that's generally what leads to the vomiting."

"Don't forget moody," added Snape.

"I am NOT!" snapped Remus.

Poppy tried her best to conceal a small smile and stifled a chuckle as she regarded the two.

"I think I know what the problem is, just let me run a test," she said as she walked back to her office for some supplies.

Remus sighed and looked up at Snape, who was smirking like a mad man.

"Could you at least attempt not too look so smug?" asked Remus frowning.

"No…I want to fully enjoy this," said Snape as he lowered himself on to neighboring bed.

Lupin just sighed and leaned back against the headboard.

Poppy returned promptly with a glass flask of a clear liquid, "I need a few drops of your blood."

"Uh…" Remus didn't get a chance to fully respond before Poppy pricked his index finger and squeezed three drops into the flask.

Within seconds the liquid began to glow gold. Then the potion and the flask transfigured themselves into a small white result sheet.

"Just as I thought, three months along," said Poppy smiling gently, "you'll be back to normal in about seven months."

"S-Seven months!" stuttered Remus, "You're telling me I've been sick for three months already? What kind of illness has a duration of ten months."

"Remus, dear, you're not sick." Poppy clarified, "When I said you'll be back to normal in seven months, I meant after you have the baby. Male werewolves have a gestation period of ten months. It takes their bodies longer to develop a baby, which is normally 5-7 lbs when it's born."

"What baby! I can't have a…Mother of Merlin what am I saying! Of course I can, I'm a male werewolf!" Remus visibly paled.

"My, my, astute as ever, Lupin," mocked Snape.

"Now, do you want to know what it is? Or do you want to wait?" asked Poppy, still ignoring Severus' side commentary.

"Huh?" Remus was still shell shocked.

"Do you want to know what you're having?" Poppy asked.

"Okay," said Remus rather unsure of himself.

"It's a male," said the medi-witch.

"Um…don't you mean a boy?" asked Remus.

"No, you'll be having a puppy, so it'll be a male."

"A p-puppy?" Remus was feeling faint.

"Oh, don't worry it will only be a puppy for about a year and a half then it will revert to human form," the medi-witch clarified.

"Why was the werewolf able to manifest when it wasn't the full moon?" asked Snape, rejoining the conversation.

"Well, now that Remus is like this, the wolf can choose to manifest at will. Some werewolves spend their entire pregnancies in wolf form, while others spend it in human form. It all depends on their specific wants of the wolf in each person. There is more stress on all three parties while in wolf form, so most wolf counterparts tend to let up on the transformations until the puppy is born…"

"Well that certainly explains why you haven't needed medical attention after the past two full moons." Snape interjected, "But why would Mooney risk manifesting to growl at Molly?"

"Mooney growled at Molly!" Remus exclaimed in disbelief.

"Well, did she do anything out of the ordinary?" asked Poppy.

"She stormed up stairs and she was yelling that she would stupefy Remus to bring him to you herself." Severus explained.

Poppy laughed, "That was just Mooney being a good mommy, no doubt the wolf thought Molly was going to harm Remus and in turn the puppy."

Just then the door to the medical wing opened and Dumbledore walked in with a smile on his face and that annoying twinkle shining brighter than ever.

"Oh, headmaster, there you are," said Poppy walking over to Albus.

"Everything is well, I trust," said Dumbledore striking up a conversation.

"Yes, he'll be back to normal in seven months or so," said Poppy cheerfully.

"Wonderful," said Dumbledore, "Minerva has been hoping for another 'Marauder grandchild', as she termed it, ever since Harry was born. She'll be thrilled."

While Poppy and the headmaster continued their conversation, Remus sat at the foot of the bed with his head in his hands muttering to himself, "Merlin's unmentionables, I've done it this time. I've really done it this time!"

"Of course, you've 'really **done** **it **this time', Lupin. You wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't, as you so eloquently put it, '**done** **it**'," Snape sneered as he crossed his arms, "Now all you have to do is tell other father."

Remus' shoulders began to shake gently.

"I take it he's out of the picture then," concluded Snape.

Remus nodded and sniffed slightly.

"Well, you should contact him all the same," said Snape taking a superior tone.

"Fine," Remus ground out, "go find Trelawney and tell her to set up for a séance."

Severus froze, his self-satisfied smirk a thing of the past, "No."

Remus looked up at him laughed bitterly, "Did you honestly think anyone else would touch a werewolf?"

"It's Black's baby!" exclaimed Severus, drawing Poppy and Albus' attention.

Remus put his heads again.

"Really Lupin," Snape nothing short of scolded, "of all the marauders I thought you had the most sense! Clearly I was mistaken."

"Alright Remus that's enough for one day, you need sleep. I also need to see you again tomorrow to run a few more tests," said Poppy.

"Severus, take Remus back to your quarters and see that he's comfortable," ordered Dumbledore.

"WHAT!-Headmaster, you can't be serious!" objected Snape, "Surely, Dobby is more than capable of setting up a room…"

"Severus," Albus said firmly, holding up a hand and politely staring him down, "I'm sure you agree that this is no time for Remus to be alone and I think the best company is an old school acquaintance."

"'Old school acquaintance'! We hated each other!" said Snape with a fervor.

"I never hated you," sniffled Remus.

"Well, I suppose Minerva wouldn't mind, and of course he's always welcome with Molly and Arthur…" Dumbledore reasoned.

"Could we not tell anyone else about this yet?" Lupin nothing short of pleaded.

"Of course, dear," Poppy assured him, "everything said here is strictly confidential."

"Can't he just go back to his flat?" inquired Snape.

"No, my lease was up two weeks ago," said Remus miserably.

Snape frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fine," he seceded, "One night, no more."

Little did the three of the four parties know of the accidental eavesdropper at the door, one Harry Potter, who had come up to the medical wing after getting a splinter from his broom. With eyes as big a saucers, he closed the door and ran as fast as he could back to his common room.


	3. Sound Sleepers

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 3: Sound Sleepers

When the "dynamic duo" reached Snape's rooms, Severus quickly transformed his overstuffed leather couch into a bed and went into his study to place a letter he had intended to send to Lucius that night into a part of his desk only he could open. As he walked back into the living room he saw Remus had taken off his outer brown robe and was settling into the couch/bed.

"What do you think you're doing?" demanded Snape.

"Uh…going to sleep," said Remus a little confused.

"Not there, take the bed," said Snape pointing at the door to the bedroom.

"You don't mind?" Remus looked at Severus as if he had lost what was left of his mind.

"Of course I mind!" snapped Snape, "But if Poppy found out I made you sleep on the couch I'd never hear the end of it!"

"Oh," said the werewolf somewhat sheepishly.

"The bathroom is the first door on the left as you walk in, take a shower and I'll call one of the house elves to bring you dinner."

Remus visibly paled at the thought of food, "Thanks all the same, but I think I'll skip dinner."

"You can't!" said Snape sternly.

Remus sighed dejectedly and headed for the bathroom, "You're right." He was too tired to fight.

When Remus had finished his shower he walked into the bedroom to find a black satin pajama set folded neatly and placed at the foot of the king sized bed. The entire room was done in different shades of green (big surprise).

A steaming plate of chicken, mashed potatoes, rice pilaf, corn on the cob, green beans and a biscuit sat on the dresser next to a big, frothy glass of cold milk. Remus dug in and before he knew it he had cleaned the plate and emptied the glass. Then he started to feel woozy. Little did Lupin know Snape had put a sleeping spell on the milk after Dobby left it to guarantee there wouldn't be a repeat of Grimuld Place with Mooney.

Remus was sitting on the bed a bit dazed when he heard the doorknob turn. He looked in that direction to see Severus walk in quietly.

"Snape, what did you do?" asked Lupin in a worried voice.

"I just took out a little insurance is all," assured Snape as he tucked the werewolf in for the night.

"No, Sna…" Remus' eyes closed and opened again, but slightly, "S-Sev…-er-…usss…"

Then Remus fell asleep.

He didn't regain consciousness until noon the next day. And granted he was still pissed about the sedative, but he had to admit that was the best night's sleep he had had in a long time. That's when he stood up and the gag reflex kicked in. Remus made a mad dash for the bathroom and once again found himself emptying his stomach into a sink.

"I wondered when you were going to wake up," drawled a silky voice from the doorway.

"What time is it?" Remus rasped out.

"Quarter past noon," said Snape holding out a glass of water, "I suggest you get dressed, Poppy's about ready to rip the dungeons apart to see you."

15 minutes later Remus staggered into the medical wing on the verge of throwing up, yet again, which was impressive considering he hadn't eaten anything.

"Remus there you are, where have been!" demanded Poppy.

"Revisiting dinner," explained Lupin.

"Well don't just stand there, go lay down on a bed," said Poppy as she bustled over to a tray she'd prepared and then got to work.

She poked and prodded at Remus for nearly two hours before she went to compile the information she had gathered.

Lupin was half asleep by the time Poppy returned with the results.

"Well, Remus, the puppy is very healthy. However, due to your past medical history you will need to begin to take some dietary supplements. As he grows, he'll need a lot more vitamins than you can provide him with, which brings me to the fact that since you've decided to keep him you're going to have to put on, at the very least, 15 lbs."

"Here," she said placing nearly thirty pages on Remus chest, "take this to Severus."

The groggy werewolf gazed lazily at the once tree that had been placed on his sternum, "How am I supposed to put on 15 lbs, when I can't keep anything down to begin with?" asked Remus.

"Don't worry I included a potion in the list that should settle your stomach for the time being and you shouldn't have morning sickness for much longer, a month at most," she assured him.

Remus blinked in an attempt to stay awake.

"Maybe you should go back to Severus' quarters and take a nap," suggested Poppy.

He processed it for a minute, "…mmmm-ok." Remus nodded dumbly, still very sleepy from waiting for the results, he stood up and headed back to the dungeons.

Meanwhile Severus had just gotten back from giving his 5th year Gryffindor/Slytherin class their final exam. What a fiasco! Longbottom somehow managed to melt a record six cauldrons and single handedly set himself on fire. Granger was too busy going back over the potion she was brewing to notice Weasley added too much flob worm and the next thing they knew the entire room was filled with a fog so think no one could see their nose in front of their face with the exception of Snape himself, of course. The onset of the fog startled the other students so much Finnigan backed into Potter and knocked his glasses off. Potter stumbled backwards and into his cauldron. Needless to say, it tipped over and spilt onto a stack of text books, which then took to flight and began the attack the other students. One such attack caused Zambini to collide with his and Malfoy's cauldron sending a vibrant green potion all over the floor. The potion then became a tightly constricting vine and held everyone fast where they stood.

"Bloody Gryffindors!" Snape muttered under his breath as he poured himself his forth glass Firewhiskey, "There is no possible way this day could possibly get any worse…"

Just then Lupin walked in.

"Fucking Merlin," swore Snape looking at his nearly empty Firewhiskey bottle, "at the rate this day is going I should start my own brewery!"

Lupin shrugged and sat down on the couch, "Could have been worse."

"How?" Snape drawled sarcastically.

"I could have been Dumbledore," Remus smirked.

"No you couldn't have," said Snape taking a superior tone.

Remus' face fell, "Why not?"

"Because about a decade ago I decided to miss lunch after a particularly horrific Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw class and he came to find me. He never made the same mistake again," Snape smirked proudly.

"I'm impressed," commented Remus, "I think you're the first to keep the headmaster at bay."

"No, I'm not. That title goes to Minerva. About three years after we graduated Minerva had had an abominable transfiguration class, in which one student somehow managed to transfigure himself into a copy of Playwitch. Five Aurors and seven hours later found Minerva in her quarters attempting to de-stress with a vintage bottle of red wine. Albus, chipper as ever and not without the ever present annoying twinkle paid her a visit. I don't know the exact details of the conversation, but the end result was Minerva attempting to transfigure Albus' nether region, shall we say, into a cheese grater. I know, it doesn't make sense, but apparently she was very inebriated at the time." Severus explained as poured the rest of the Firewhiskey into his tumbler.

Remus chuckled on the couch, "No wonder he always gives her the space she needs when she's in one of her moods."

"So…you came to collect your things?" Severus unsubtly changed the subject.

"Uh, yes…" Lupin trailed off suddenly becoming very interested in the coffee table.

Severus sighed not liking where the conversation was going, at all, "You might as well just spit it out, Lupin, it's not as though I can duel you in your current condition."

"Poppy, told me to bring this to you." said Remus placing the packet on the coffee, "She told me I need all of these potions. You have most if these in stock, right?"

Snape flipped through the sheets gingerly, "No, I only have about four of these in stock, the rest I have to make and/or order the needed ingredients." The Potions Master pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "I'll put in a dinner order and get started on these. Once you're done call Dobby. Have him collect the plate and track down something for you to sleep in. Tomorrow I'll talk to Dumbledore about setting up quarters for you first thing in the morning, before graduation."

And with that each went in an opposite direction.

Long about 2:30 in the morning Severus finally decided to call it quits and turn in on the couch. Having removed his outer robes prior, he had his wand out and was about to transfigure the piece of living room furniture when he heard…

"NO WAIT!-DON'T-SIRIUSSS!" Remus could be heard screaming from the bedroom.

Snape burst into the bedroom and dashed over to a flailing werewolf on the bed.

"Lupin, wake up!" Snape attempted to restrain his former schoolmate.

Remus jolted awake, "Sirius!-Wha?-Snape!-where?..."

"Lupin, calm down, you were dreaming," Snape assured him.

Remus sighed and leaned back onto the bed, "What time is it?"

"About half past two in the morning," responded Snape turning to leave, "go back to sleep."

"Wait," Remus grabbed Severus' sleeve.

"What Lupin? It's late," Snape snapped.

"Could you stay with me?" Remus pleaded.

Snape sneered in disgust.

"Just until I fall asleep again," Lupin nothing short of whimpered.

"No," said Severus coldly as he yanked his wrist out of Lupin's grasp and turned to walk away again.

"mmmh-mmmh," Mooney began whine in a high pitched tone.

"No, Mooney," said Snape harshly.

"GRRRRRR!"

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, "5 minutes."

The brilliant gold faded from Lupin's eyes and Remus smirked as Snape sat next to him on the bed.

"Who knew Mooney could be so persuasive?" chuckled Remus.

"No talking!" said Snape in one of his more waspish tones.

The added company and silence was all it took to put Remus back into dreamland, unfortunately it put Snape to sleep too. You see, he had underestimated how tired he was from pulling that potions all-nighter.

Hours later found Severus, at the edge of the bed, out cold, on his side with Lupin spooned up against his back and sharing the same pillow. Both were enjoying a blissful slumber until Remus jolted awake, jostling Snape into a ½ conscious state.

"I just had a thought!" declared Remus propping himself up on an elbow.

"Smashing, I'll alert The Daily Prophet," said Severus sleepily as he settled back into the pillow.

"This is serious," Remus declared, "How am I supposed to have this baby? I'm a bloke!"

"Uhg, Lupin, you're not a 'bloke', you're a werewolf. I'm sure Hagrid is more than qualified to set up a whelping box when the time comes-Go back to sleep."

"So this is why you didn't respond to my letter?" came an amused voice from the threshold of the room.

"Lucius, what in Merlin's name are you doing here?" demanded Snape, now wide awake.

"Well, I came to talk about Draco's grades before graduation commenced, but…if this is a bad time…" smirked Lucius as he glanced at the werewolf.

That's about when the snarky Potions Professor remembered he way laying next to, "Lupin!"

Remus was too busy staring in horror at Malfoy.

"I can explain this," Severus assured Lucius.

"Later," said Malfoy still grinning like a madman, "You only have an hour before graduation." With that he walked to the fireplace in the living room and headed back to Malfoy Manner.

Severus got out of bed and headed for his armoire where he removed pristine teaching robes and said, "Meet me in the headmaster's office after the ceremony," before he disappeared into the bathroom.


	4. Loquacious Lucius

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 4: Loquacious Lucius

Unfortunately for Severus and Remus, they couldn't reach the headmaster's office as quickly as they had wanted. After the graduation ceremony, a luncheon took place for the faculty. Then Severus was cornered by a reporter from Potions Monthly Magazine, who proceeded to ask him an inordinate amount of questions about the wolf's bane potion.

Meanwhile Lupin had started for Dumbledore's office when he was accosted by Ron and Hermione yelling, "Mooney!" Hermione then proceeded to pounce on Remus and give him a bear-hug. The added pressure to the werewolf's midsection sent him running for the little girls' room. Yes, the little girls' room. It was the closest restroom in proximity to where they were on the floor and as you can imagine, Moaning Myrtle was not pleased in the least.

coughcough

"Ron, go get Poppy," ordered Hermione as she attempted to calm Myrtle.

"No, Ron don't," Remus implored, "I already saw her, she can't do anything … hurk …coughcough It'll pass…"

"Where are you staying?" asked Ron, "I'll send Hedwig to fetch Mad eye and…"

Remus shook his head 'no'.

"Well, where were you headed?" asked Hermione.

"Dumbledore's office," said Remus winded.

"Ron, help me steady him and we'll bring him to the headmaster's stairwell."

"I'm fine," insisted Remus steadying himself against the sink.

"You bloody well aren't, mate," countered Ron.

15 minutes later found Ron and Hermione had successfully escorted Remus to the alcove to the headmaster's office.

"Chocolate frogs," said Remus as he stepped onto the top gold stair.

He wasn't even out of sight when the wheels in Hermione's head started turning.

---

"Ah, Remus there you are." greeted Albus' warmly, "Lemon drop?"

"No thank you, Headmaster," said Remus politely and paling slightly.

"Lupin, where have been!" demanded Severus emerging from a winged back chair with a book in hand (I know, big shock).

"Where do you think, Snape?" snapped Remus as he dropped into a chair in front of Albus' desk.

"Hm, hormones," Snape snorted.

"And just what's that supposed mean?" sniffed Remus.

"You know damn well what it means!" stated Snape.

"Severus, please!" said Dumbledore firmly, "There are more pressing matters at hand, the first being Lucius Malfoy. It is safe to say Lucius has jumped to conclusions and assumes that you are the father of Remus' child, Severus. So, for safety's sake that is how you both are going to behave. Now, I have here two rings that have been charmed, so that as long as you both wear them you will be, for all intensive purposes, married to each other."

Snape grimaced and Lupin gripped the arms of the chair, in which he was seated, very tightly and looked nervously between Dumbledore and Snape.

Needless to say, Severus was livid!

"At least try to be civil. I'll have dinner sent down and you will eat **together**, not just tonight, but **every night**. Now that you will be spending a longer period of time in each other's company than you had originally anticipated, I suggest you make an attempt to become better acquainted." suggested the headmaster as he handed each their ring.

The rings themselves were very simple when it came right down to it. They were only made up of two wires wrapped around each other, one silver and the other gold.

---

Severus and Remus made their way back to the Potion's Master's quarters in total silence. Once inside, they found dinner had been set out: salmon draped over penne alfredo.

It was safe to assume Dumbledore was pulling out all the stops on account of Remus.

Dinner was eaten-in silence. Severus had nothing positive to say and decided to heed the headmaster's warning to be civil. The last thing he needed on his hands right now was Albus' wrath coupled with a whiny werewolf. While, Remus, on the other hand, was afraid that if he started talking, he wouldn't stop and just babble incessantly when Snape didn't respond.

Once they finished a house elf cleared the plates and the "newly weds" (hehe) retired to the living room to read-still in complete silence. Only about a quarter of an hour passed before Severus dropped the book he was reading and grasped his wrist in pain.

"Should I tell Dumbledore?" asked Remus as Severus ran into the bedroom for his mask and robe.

"No!" said Snape quickly, "I'll handle it after I get back."

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Remus in a worried tone.

"Probably not," said Snape in a dismal tone, shooting Remus a bizarre look.

Lupin blushed, "Hormones."

Snape sneered, said a quick concealment charm over the ring and gabbed a handful of flu powder, "Lucius Malfoy's study." And with that Severus disappeared in a blaze of green and reappeared at Malfoy manner to find all the Death Eaters on the inner most circle and the Dark Lord.

"My Lord, I apologize for being tardy…I was temporarily indisposed with school business," said Severus humbly as he knelt before Voldemort and kissed the hem of his robes.

"Ah, SSSSeverus," Voldemort patted his spy on the head gently, something he had never done to Snape before, "one of my most loyal followers, one of my oldest followers…one of my children…"

In his chest, Severus' heart was pounding like a jackhammer. The Dark Lord knew he was a spy. All the signs were there: everyone in the inner circle had been assembled, he was the last to arrive, all his exits were blocked and most importantly no one could hear him scream (well, no one who would actually come to his aid that is…hmmm…Ok, granted not many would help him in the first place, but that's beyond the point).

"So this is how it's going to end, I often wondered." Severus mused to himself, "(sigh) Now all I have to do is kneel here and wait for him to say 'Advara Kedarva' and at the rate things were going I'm going to be in this position all night. Merlin's balls, if there's one person in this world who's longer winded than Dumbledore it's Voldemort!"

At this point Severus was jolted back into reality when the patting stopped and the Dark Lord began stroking his hair.

"Is he **_petting_** me!" wondered Snape, now thoroughly disturbed.

Yes, the most feared wizard in the wizarding world was petting him.

"I'm disappointed in you SSSeverusss," hissed Voldemort as he gingerly removed Snape's silver mask and tilted his chin up so that their eyes met, "all these yearsss and you don't deem it important enough to tell me that I have a grandchild on the way and by a dark creature at that!"

"I found out barely two days ago, my Lord," Severus explained quickly, "After the last Order meeting the werewolf was sick so I took him to Madame Pomfrey where she discovered he was pregnant. I spent the next day giving exams and making potions for the medi-witch after she saw Remus again. We fell asleep on the bed and Lucius woke us up when he came to see me about a letter I hadn't responded to because of Remus. Then Lucius left, I dressed and headed to graduation, while Remus rolled over and went back to sleep. We didn't see each other again until lunch in the Great Hall where I was cornered by a reporter from Potions Monthly and Remus ran to the nearest mens' room to regurgitate what he just ate. We didn't see each other again until the headmaster called us into his office and presented us with a marriage license, which we signed."

"Iss that ssso?" Voldemort took out his wand, lifted Severus' left hand and tapped the base of his ring finger to have the wedding band re-materialize.

"I was coming to tell you about the entire situation now, my Lord," Snape assured the reptilian wizzard.

"Were you now?" prompted the Dark Lord, "Start from the beginning."

"The werewolf has been my contact ever since he came to Hogwarts to teach Defense against the Dark Arts, almost three years ago, after you mentioned gaining the loyalty of the dark creatures. He left at the end of the year to investigate the standing of common wizard and dark creature when it came to the impending war, but unfortunately discovered nothing of value. The last rendezvous we had was interrupted by the incident in the Department of Mysteries. We were scheduled to meet again after the last Order meeting, only he had been sick for sometime and I took him to Pomfrey. He's three months right now with a male cub, which is due in mid January," Severus quickly concocted.

The room was silent.

Then the Dark Lord's thin reptilian lips curled into a sadistic smirk, "Excellent work, SSSeverusss. There isss no better way to gain the allegiance of the dark creaturesss than to have a blood bond with them."

"Yes, Sev, way to _pump_ someone for information," chided Lucius from somewhere behind the Dark Lord.

The room erupted in laughter and everyone took off their masks, as house elves appeared with brandy.

"I must say, Severus, we were all beginning to worry," said Mr. Parkinson.

"Narcissa was at her wits end with you. She had all but run out of names in her little black book, not to mention friends and friends of friends to call for dinner on Sunday." said Malfoy as he took a glass of brandy.

Severus rose from his knees and accepted a glass of brandy. At that point in the evening he felt he deserved it.

It wasn't long before they were joined by the other Death Eaters' wives.

Once everyone was preoccupied with mingling, Voldemort took him aside out on one of the many balconies of Malfoy Manner to have a 'heart to heart' so to speak.

"SSSeverusss, I want you to go out of your way to make the werewolf comfortable. Anything he wants he gets, he is gateway, literally and figuratively, to the dark creatures. We can't loose him, he's too valuable."

"Yes, Master. I understand." Snape seceded.

"Exsssselent," Voldemort hissed smiling.

Footsteps could be heard approaching.

"Oh, my Lord, are we intruding?" asked Narcissa from the doorway.

"Not at all, Lady Malfoy," the Dark Lord assured her, "I was just giving Ssseverusss sssome fatherly advice, however, I ssshould return to the rest of my children."

With that their reptilian leader made his way back to the study, leaving Lucius, Narcissa and Severus on the balcony. And Merlin, did Snape want another drink to deal with what was about to come: a severe scolding and an interrogation from Narcissa, while Lucius leaned back against the balcony railing and smirked as he watched Snape squirm.

And without further ado:

"Severus Snape! How dare you keep a relationship from us, your oldest friends. No wonder you were acting so strangely last Sunday at dinner. You've been seeing him for three years! How much longer were you planning to keep us in the dark about this-this-Romulus the werewolf, was it! Where did you even meet him? Why didn't you say you fancied dark creatures? We could have saved a lot of time by not associating with all those mindless tarts. And when were going to tell us about the baby, after he graduated from Hogwarts!"

"It's Remus, firstly, and he went to school with us. Due to the original nature of our relationship we decided to keep it behind closed doors because of politics with the Order. He is also the first and only dark creature I've been involved with and no one knows about the baby except the Dark Lord, the Inner Circle, Remus, Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore. Remus is the one who wants to be so secretive about it, he's still adjusting to the idea of having a baby and the morning sickness isn't helping."

"You said he went to school with you, I don't remember a Remus in Slytherin," Narcissa crossed her arms over her chest.

"He wasn't in Slytherin. He was in Gryffindor," said Severus wincing inwardly.

"I see," said Narcissa far too calmly for the situation at hand, "which one?"

"The emaciated little blonde that used to Potter Senior around, always had his nose in a book, attempting to ignore the stunts his friends pulled, that should have gotten them all expelled." Severus described Remus as a teenager.

"Oh, yes, I remember now. He always had chocolate in his backpack. He's a mute, isn't he?" said Narcissa trying to think back to her school days.

"No, just shy around non-Gryffindor's," said Severus flatly.

"It seems you didn't have a hard time getting him to come out of his shell, Severus." remarked Lucius, "I must say I'm impressed, a blonde, to ensure the Snape traits are passed down."

"So, we'll be seeing you both on Sunday then," Narcissa nothing short of stated.

"No," countered Severus, "You won't be seeing either of us for awhile. Pomfrey doesn't want Remus to leave the grounds as long as he's sick and Dumbledore drops in everyday at different times. It's quite annoying."

"I would imagine so," said Lucius dryly.

"I should probably head back. Remus is going to read me the riot act for staying out so late as it is." Snape said irritably, then added in a more relaxed tone, "Thank you, for an evening I won't soon forget."

Lucius chuckled and started to shake hands with Severus when he pulled the Potions Master into a bear hug, "You know you can always escape from _marital bliss_ for a few hours here."

"Good-bye Severus," said Narcissa giving Snape a kiss on the cheek.

The Malfoys watched Snape's receding shadow disappear down the hall.

Once Severus was out of sight a small, very rare smile played and Narcissa's pale lips, "Lucius, there's a bogart in my armoire would you come take care of it for me?"


	5. Draco’s Dilemma

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 5: Draco's Dilemma

"Where have you been! I've been worried sick!" yelled Remus as Snape stepped through the fireplace.

"Nice to see you too, dear," said Severus flatly.

"Severus, this is no time for sarcasm," Remus growled.

"Lupin, it's three the morning, go to bed," said Snape pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Don't change the subject!" objected Lupin.

Snape rolled his eyes, "What, afraid you wouldn't have enough notice to pull an estate sale together by this weekend?"

"That's not funny!" shouted Remus whose eyes had begun to shine with unshed tears.

Severus groaned inwardly. "Here come the waterworks," he thought.

The next thing the snarky Potions' Master knew, Remus had launched himself into his arms and was in the process of drenching his robes.

"Ugh, Lupin of all the times to go off, you have pick the time I'm half asleep," muttered Severus disdainfully as he sat down on the couch with Remus. A faux Latin incantation later and Lupin was out cold in his arms.

---

The next morning Draco awoke with a slight buzz from the festivities of the night before-no, not the Death Eater Party, an even more exclusive event. You see, ever since second year and the re-opening of the Chamber of Secrets a select group of Slytherin students, six to be exact: Pansy, Crabe, Goyle, Blaise (being a guy), Millicent and of course Draco himself got together at the end of the school year. They all came to Draco's room by flu after the graduation ceremony and had the house elves bring lunch up. Then from the time they finished with lunch until dinner, they reminisced about the year, discussed strategies for Quiddich and tried to come up with a plan to ultimately humiliate the Golden Trio.

After dinner they warded the rooms and the real festivities kicked off, as in all the drinking games. The rules were simple: The last one to pass out won. Not that it mattered, considering no one ever remembered anything from the night before.

However, there was one norm amongst all the insanity and that was waking up the next day. Somehow Draco and Blaise always wound up naked on the bed with Pansy sandwiched between them and Crabe and Goyle always wound up naked on the window seat with Millicent between them.

Draco woke up around noon when the sun had fully engulfed the bed and then spent a leisurely five minutes searching for his boxers, which he eventually found, under Goyle. Once the Malfoy heir had his BVDs securely in place he quietly exited the room, closing the door behind him and headed down the hall towards the another wing of the house where his mother's room was.

You see after every graduation celebration the six Slytherins would take a late brunch in Draco's room and then head off to the Malfoy's privately owned Quidich pitch to run the strategies they had come up with the day before. Only this year Draco had heard his mother talk about re-seeding around the pitch and he wasn't sure if she had had that done yet. And the last thing Draco needed was a stray bludger to take out a chunk of new grass to wind up being caned by his father. So he had thought ahead, for once, and decided to ask. If it had been re-seeded then he and the gang would just go out for brunch instead.

When he reached his mother's rooms he thought it odd that the door was slightly ajar, but no doubt his mother was up by now reading one of her magazines, planning a function or taking tea with one of her lady friends. You can imagine his shock when he nudged the door the rest of the way open to find not only that his mother was still asleep, but that she was asleep curled up against his father's chest. Their clothes were strewn all over the floor including their undergarments and his father's trademark white hair was strewn haphazardly across the pillow he was currently drooling on.

Poor Draco (Again, not a phrase you commonly read) after nearly gaping, slack jawed, for five minutes finally remembered how to use his legs and sprinted as fast as he could back to his room, taking out several house elves in the process, and slamming the door behind him when he reached his final destination.

The loud noise woke the five remaining slumbering Slytherins. They were all about to yell at him when they saw the look on his face.

"Oi, Dray what's that problem?" asked Goyle.

"Ya, you look like you've seen a ghost, love," yawned Pansy.

"Did yer mum go off on ya, mate?" asked Crabe.

"Oh no," said Blaise throwing the covers off, "I know that look. C'mon mates, we're goin' out for brunch and it's our treat. Dray just walked in on his parents."

---

Meanwhile back at Hogwarts...

"Snape, where are my clothes!" yelled an irate werewolf, dripping wet and clad in only a towel.

"In the armoire," said Snape calmly from one of his winged back chairs in the living room.

Remus opened the door to the armoire to find ten new, thick, wool, brown robes, "Uh…these aren't mine…"

"Yes, they are." Snape assured the werewolf, "I ordered them from Madam Mankin this morning."

Needless to say Remus was confused and in no mood to play 20 questions as he had woken up with a headache. He walked into the living room, expecting to see at least seven empty bottles of firewhiskey around Snape's feet. Much to his dismay he found Severus gingerly turning a page in weighty, leather bound, potions text.

That's when Lupin had the misfortune to look at the coffee table and spy a box of extremely expensive Swiss chocolates, "Is that a box of…?"

"Yes," said Severus still not looking up from his tome, "there are three more boxes in the cabinet under the kitchen sink."

Lupin just stood there gaping a Snape, contemplating just when the snarky Potions Master had finally snapped.

At long last Severus looked up from his book. The horrified look on Lupin's face was priceless, "Well…don't just stand there dripping wet. Go put clothes on before you catch cold. This is a dungeon, albeit an exquisitely furbished one, but none the less it is a dungeon."

"I'm calling, Poppy," said Remus as he turned to head for the fireplace in the bedroom.

Snape rolled his eyes, "Lupin, wait."

He got up and followed Remus into the bedroom.

"No! You're acting odd- well, odder than normal, at any rate…" Lupin crossed his arms over his chest impatiently.

"Everyone in the inner circle knows," Snape motioned to Remus' midsection, "Lucius set me up last night. So we have to go along with the façade that were married. And as you are now married to a Slytherin, the Head of Slytherin I might add, your shabby appearance is a thing of the past," explained Severus.

Remus regarded Severus carefully.

After a short time Snape lost his patience, "What!"

"Huh," Remus mused, "Why would I need new robes, even if we are play acting, I never leave Hogwarts' grounds?...Unless you're expecting company…"

"As a matter of fact, I am. Not in the immediate future, mind you, but soon," confirmed the Potions Master somewhat begrudgingly at the Gryffindor's quickness.

"Well, are you going to tell me who or will I just be unpleasantly surprised?" demanded Remus.

"I'm expecting Narcissa to show up at some point."

"N-Narcissa!-As in Malfoy!" asked Remus nervously.

"The same," confirmed Snape.

"What does she want!" asked Lupin frantically.

"To obtain a refill of some simple potion that she's conveniently run out of-or more correctly dumped out for the sole purpose of coming by to size you up. She's curious to see whom I've deemed worthy to carry the next Snape generation."

"That's it?" asked Lupin greatly relieved.

"No. She'll try to interrogate you and then I'll have to go on the defensive to give the impression of being extremely irked that she's intruding on our 'quality time'."

"And the Swiss chocolate?" Remus pressed.

"An off-hand detail she remembered about you always having chocolate in your backpack as a student. Anymore questions?" asked Snape raising an aristocratic eyebrow.

The lycanthrope thought for a minute, "No, I think that about does it."

"Well, in that case," Snape took out his wand and pointed it at the armoire.

The next thing Remus knew he was dressed one of the brown robes and his towel had taken the place of the robe on the hanger.

---

Two days later Lucius brought Draco by the Ministry with him to pick up some paperwork on their way to Diagon Alley. They were on their way to Lucius' office when Percy ran into them halfway with papers in hand.

The lobby of the ministry was positively bustling with activity. Hagrid and Tonks were in a conversation about the mating habits of Mooncalves, a bored looking employee lazily flipped through miscellaneous scrolls on a mail cart, while various robed officials milled about. Not that Draco took any notice of course. Ever since he walked in on his parents, he had been wandering around aimlessly in a sort of fog, lost in thought.

"Oh, Lord Malfoy, you're here. I was just about to owl these to your estate. The contracts on the top just need your signature and the bill underneath just needs one last run through before it's passed next week. I've taken care of today's paperwork and I'm just about to start on tomorrow's."

"Excellent," said Lucius accepting the paperwork from Percy, "As I…"

"Percy, there you…Oh, I didn't realize you were busy," said Arthur rounding the corner.

"Father," said Percy curtly.

"I take it you'll be working late-again," said Mr. Weasley not so subtly placing emphasis on the last word.

"Yes-I will," said Percy smoothly, suddenly becoming interested in some invisible lint on his robes.

"Well, I'll inform your mother of your absence, wouldn't want to tax your owl any more than is necessary." Arthur said disapprovingly.

"Thank you, I appreciate the gesture," said Percy.

Needless to say there were icicles in the air, just the way Lucius liked it.

"As I was telling my son earlier, Percy is the best assistant anyone in my position could ask for. Isn't that right Draco?..."

Draco was too deep in thought to have heard his father's question.

"Draco!" Lucius repeated in a growling tone and placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

Draco yelped in surprise and jumped a foot to the right, losing his balance he fell between Tonks and Hagrid, taking the mail cart down to the floor with him and sending scrolls every which way.

"What is the matter with you!" demanded Lucius.

"I-uh…" the usually eloquent Draco stammered.

That's when Percy recognized the look of total horror on the Malfoy heir's paler than usual visage.

"Oh, Draco I think some ink spilt on your robes, I have a potion to remove it-in my office-why don't you come with me?" said Percy pulling Draco to his feet.

"I'll help," said Tonks.

"What!" Percy shot her a cold stare.

"Oh please, you think you're the only one who knows about _ink stains_?" chided Tonks.

"No, certainly not, but I think I've had a little more experience with _ink stains_ than most, being a **Weasley**." said Percy putting extra emphasis on his surname.

"Ha! That's what you think. Let me tell you, I have _walked in on_ some very nasty-_ink stains_," countered Tonks, "Besides, Draco's my first cousin."

"Fine," seceded Percy who suddenly noticed they were drawing an unwanted amount of attention, "my office is this way."

With that Percy and Tonks left with a very dazed Draco, leaving a multitude of very confused spectators in their midst.

"Somehow, I don't think they were really taking about ink stains," ventured Hagrid.

"No?" drawled Lucius, watching as his assistant and his wife's niece dragged his only heir away.

---

In Percy's office…

As you most likely deduced, there was no ink stain.

"Now Draco there's nothing to fret about, it happens to the best of us," Tonks assured gently patting her cousin's forearm.

"For some of us on a weekly basis," said Percy somewhat begrudgingly.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking in on your parents. When you think about it you should be relieved…" Tonks continued.

"What!" snapped Draco.

"Because after so many years of marriage, they still intimately love each other," offered Tonks.

Draco snorted, "Maybe your parents married for love but mine married for power, money and titles."

"Bottom line," said Percy sternly bringing the conversation back on track, "don't hide their wands!"

"Why?" asked Draco perking up, "That sounds like a good plan. I know my mother doesn't keep a contraceptive potion in stock. I've seen the lists of potions she gives to the house elves to retrieve."

"Because that's why Ron and Ginny were born!" explained Percy, "It was Charlie's doing-the wanker!" (Not that Percy's bitter of course).

Tonks frowned and exchanged a glance with Percy, "Wait-You just said Aunt Narcissa doesn't keep contraceptive potions in stock."

"Ya, so?" asked Draco matching his cousin's frown.

"So…have they said anything about another baby?"

"Why would they say anything about anoth…BLOODY HELL!" shouted Draco.

Percy pinched the bridge of his nose, "Let's not jump the wand on this one, Miss Tonks, alright? We have no concrete proof on your theory," he said, ever rational.

"Oh, so then what are you saying, there's absolutely nothing for Draco to worry about?" chided Tonks.

"No, I'm not!" countered Percy, "I'm saying Draco should watch his parents closely over the next few days, see if they interact differently with one another or if their usual topic of conversation changes, before jumping to any conclusions."

Tonks snorted, "Sure, fine, whatever," she turned to Draco, "Fire call me if you run into problems."

"I think you mean to tell him to fire call me, if he runs into any problems. If you hadn't noticed you have a male first cousin. I think he would be a little more comfortable discussing this issue with me!" insisted Percy, "I have been through this twice!"

That's how Draco left Percy and Tonks and needless to say he left the ministry more distraught than he had arrived.

---

Later that night at the Burrow…

Arthur came home to Molly cooking up a storm as usual, the twins bouncing product ideas off of one another, Ginny setting the table and Ron milling about the kitchen attempting to taste everything that was cooking when his mother wasn't looking, but to no avail.

"Ronald Weasley, don't even think of touching those biscuits!" scolded Molly sharply.

Ron could swear his mother had eyes in the back of her head. And for all he knew she probably did!

"Hello Weasleys!" greeted Arthur cheerfully as usual.

"It won't be long now, dear," Molly assured her husband as he leaned over to kiss her.

"Only seven plates tonight, Ginny," Arthur informed his daughter.

"Malfoy's kept Percy late again!" questioned Molly.

"Not exactly, love…" said Arthur quietly.

"I see," said Molly in a severe tone, before turning to Ron and saying, "Go fetch Harry, dear."

"Uh, Mum, about that," Ron swallowed hard.

"What is it now?" sighed Molly.

"It's just that Harry kind of fell asleep two hours ago and…"

"Say no more." said Molly, "We'll fix him a plate and he can heat it up later."

"He's still having trouble sleeping?" inquired Arthur, remembering Ron telling them of Harry wandering the Hogwart's grounds just after Sirius had died, but that was a little over two months ago.

"Honestly, Arthur, I wish you would talk to Harry," scolded Mrs. Weasley.

"Merlin, Molly, he's still upset over his godfather's passing, give him some time," insisted Arthur taking his seat at the head of the table.

Molly frowned, "Two weeks, and if he's not back to normal by then, you have a talk with him."


	6. Potter’s Predicament

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 6: Potter's Predicament

The next two weeks went off without a hitch as far as Draco was concerned. His parents seemed for the most part back to normal, each keeping to their respective wings at opposite ends of the house. Yes, life was once again a thing of beauty for the prince of Slytherin…or so he thought.

---

Meanwhile Remus and Snape were still in the process of getting acclimated to one another. It was a slow process, needless to say, but they were at least being civil towards each other. Granted the only times they were in each other's company was first thing in the morning and late at night, when they were going to bed.

They had formed, for the most part, a daily routine. Severus would get up at around six in the morning, take a shower, get dressed and head into his private lab. Lupin would then get up around noon and somehow manage to drag himself into the kitchen after worshiping the porcelain god, where Severus would proceed to dump numerous potions down his throat. Then Severus would return to his lab for the rest of the day and Remus would read in the library, while attempting to fend off on coming migraines. Later that evening, Remus would return to Severus' rooms to find him reading in one of the chairs by the fireplace, Snape would look up from his book with disdain and then call a house elf to bring dinner. After dinner Remus would take whatever book he had checked out from the library to bed and read until he fell asleep. Snape would come to bed at some point, but Remus was always asleep by then.

Overall they just tried to avoid each other.

---

"Arthur, do something!" Molly hissed under her breath as she cleaned up from breakfast, "Harry hasn't slept in three days and he's barely eaten any breakfast!"

"What do you want me to do?" said Arthur putting his paper aside.

"Just go talk to him," insisted Molly as she gestured with the spatula she was holding for extra emphasis.

Arthur sighed and got up from his chair. Discarding the paper on the table, he made his way over to Harry was currently occupying the couch.

Poor Harry (a phrase you do read often) he was literally falling asleep sitting up, despite all his attempts to stay conscious.

"Harry," Arthur called walking into the kitchen.

"Wha!" Harry snapped back into consciousness, "Oh, Mr. Weasley, I didn't see you there."

"Yes, I noticed," Arthur smiled kindly as he sat beside Harry on the couch, "Is everything alright? I've noticed you haven't been well rested these past few days. Do you want to talk about anything?"

Harry winced and looked away, "I'd rather not, if that's alright."

"Yes, of course," said Arthur quickly, "but should you change your mind I'm here for you, we all are."

"I know," said Harry with a tired half smile as he rose from the couch, "and I appreciate it, but I'm kind of tired. If it's ok, I'm going to lay down for a little while."

"Sure," said Arthur, "pleasant dreams."

"Not bloody likely," thought Harry as he ascended the stairs.

---

It had been a magnanimous day in the Land of Draco. After getting up at the crack of noon, the Malfoy heir took a shower and dressed, then headed down to the kitchen where he berated the house elves for a good twenty minutes before putting in an actual meal order.

He then took a late brunch out on the veranda, where he could see his mother in lower gardens giving more house elves orders on watering schedules and what plants she wanted them to order for the rapidly approaching summer. No doubt she wanted everything to be perfect for her up and coming functions. Every time Draco turned around his mother was having people over for some charity or other.

However, the best part about this entire scene was that his father was no where in sight!

After finishing his meal Draco headed off to Diagon Alley for an afternoon of leisurely shopping and then returned home later that evening to putter around the private Malfoy Quidich Pitch before heading in around seven for a late dinner.

Yep, as far as Draco was concerned that whole walking in on his parents thing was just some kind of a cosmic fluke.

That's just about the time he was walking past one of the many sitting rooms of Malfoy manner when he noticed his parents sitting on the couch-together!-in front of a roaring fire. Lucius was reading the paper and Narcissa was thumbing through a magazine.

"Odd," Draco though to himself, "Dad's usually in his study at this time of night and Mum's normally reading in on of her rooms."

Time for a little eves dropping!

How it was, Lucius and Narcissa had their backs to Draco, who had stopped in an opportune place, between the two of them. Draco was completely out of his parent's peripheral vision and far enough away so that the mirror above the mantel didn't show his reflection.

"I don't know why you're ordering furniture now." commented Lucius as the turned the page of the section he was holding.

Narcissa sighed, "Lucius, one needs to plan ahead for these things. You can't leave everything until the last minute, especially when ordering from catalogues. Two different shades of a color may photograph the same, but may be completely different, in reality, when delivered to the house. It could throw off the entire color scheme!"

"Merlin forbid the entire color scheme is thrown off," said Lucius making use of airy sarcasm.

That earned him a swat with the catalogue.

"Clearly, you have no idea of the severity of the situation," Narcissa sniffed haughtily.

Lucuis gave an exasperated sigh as he refolded the paper, "Severity? I doubt the situation has become so dire as of present. We still have months before the baby comes."

Draco froze.

All of a sudden his chest felt tight, he became short of breath and the room started to spin. His eyes rolled up and his legs gave out.

THUD!

---

Earlier that day in the Hogwarts Medical Wing 3 pm:

Remus lay on the bed closet to Poppy's office with his arms crossed over his chest, pouting at the ceiling.

"Oh, come now, Remus," Poppy in a cheery tone, "you knew this was bound to happen. With a puppy on the way, it was only a matter of time before your pants started to get tight."

"I wouldn't mind so much, if he'd just start moving." huffed Remus thinking back to the Sex Ed. Class he had suffered through when he was a student, "I mean, I am nearly four and a half months along, shouldn't I have felt something by now?" He ran a hand over his slightly rounded midsection.

"Just be patient, Dear." the Medi-Witch soothed, "It's different for everyone."

Little did they know just how different.

---

Granger Residence 11 pm (later that night)

"…_in instances when a werewolf is carrying a puppy and its mate dies before the birth of said puppy, the werewolf must choose another mate. If the werewolf neglects to choose a suitable replacement mate within a short period of time, the puppy will choose for them. The wolf will then accept the replacement as its rightful mate and act as it would toward its original mate. This entails following the mate around, not wanting the mate out of sight for very long, grooming and having the mate present when the puppy is born… "_

"Fascinating," breathed Hermione as she read a book she had picked up from Diagon under the covers with a flashlight.

"Hermione, are you asleep?" her mother's tired voice called from down the hall.

"Yes, Mum, I'm…Oh, bugger!"

---

(The Following Morning) Malfoy Manner 1 am:

"NNNnnnnhhhh," Draco stirred slightly as he heard someone mumbling something over him.

"Glad you could join me, Draco,"

"Uhg...Dr. Hart?" Draco rasped, wincing at the light as he opened his eyes.

"You gave everyone quite scare, young man." continued Dr. Hart as he looked over a number of results sheets, "However, everything seems to be in order now, so I'll just have you take some Dreamless Sleep Potion and be on my way."

Draco choked down the potion just to have his hair ruffled by the family physician, much to his annoyance.

Once Draco was asleep, Dr. Hart walked out into hallway to be confronted by two very worry parents.

"Well?" demanded Lucius.

"He's fine," Dr. Hart assured them, "completely back to normal, his main concern is his hair."

"Oh, thank Merlin," Narcissa breathed a sigh of relief.

"And? What caused him to faint earlier?" insisted Lucius.

"Has Draco been under a lot of stress lately?" inquired Dr. Hart.

Lucius and Narcissa exchanged looks.

"Not that we know of." said Mrs. Malfoy, "Why?"

"What you witnessed earlier was Draco having a panic attack, which is something that can only be brought on by a great amount of stress." explained Dr. Hart, "Now are you sure there's nothing you know of that could have brought this on?"

"He's on summer holiday." stated Narcissa, "What stress could he have now?"

"Nonetheless, keep an eye on him over the next couple of days and call me if something else comes up," said Dr. Hart taking his leave.

---

Chez Snape 3 am:

HURK!

Cough, Cough

_whimper_

Remus was once again worshiping the porcelain god.

"Uh, Lupin, this is the third time tonight," groaned Snape as he staggered into the bathroom to turn on the faucet.

Cough-"S-Severus, go back to bed."

"Get up, you've been vomiting for half an hour. You're dehydrated by now. You need water," Snape said sternly.

Remus shook his head 'no'.

"Lupin, I haven't had a full night's sleep in nearly two weeks because of you." said Snape in a dangerously soft voice, "Now, either you get up on your own, clean yourself up and go back to bed or I do it for you."

Remus sighed and attempted to get to his feet. Nearly loosing his balance as he staggered to the sink, Snape grabbed the back Remus' shirt.

"Dizzy?" asked Snape as he cantilevered Lupin's arm around his shoulders.

"Ya," Remus exhaled as he put a death grip on the sink.

"Well…that's because you're dehydrated!"

"Whoa-" the werewolf started to go weak in the knees.

"Easy, Lupin," said Snape wrapping his arm around the lycanthrope, steadying his former schoolmate and colleague.

In the process of stabilizing Remus, Severus' hand brushed the werewolf's midsection.

"Ah!" Remus winced.

"What now!" snapped Snape.

"Severus…" Remus gasped, rushing a hand to his stomach, "you got him to kick!"

---

The Burrow

Breakfast

Some days Arthur didn't know how Molly did it. He sat at the breakfast table, exhausted. They had removed the silencing charm on Harry's room to hear him when he got up. Unfortunately for them, Harry had been up all night pacing in his room.

Arthur rubbed his eyes wearily. Something wasn't right…he didn't hear or smell breakfast cooking and Molly was no where to be seen.

That's when he noticed a folded slip of white in front of him. Arthur lifted the paper and opened it.

"Arthur,

I'm at my wits end!

I went to see Dumbledore first thing this morning. Harry doesn't want to talk to us, he can't sleep and he barely eats. I figure he'll talk to Remus. And Dumbledore is the only person who knows where Remus is. I'll ask him to send Remus over as soon as he can spare him.

See if you can't get breakfast started without me, Love,

Molly"


	7. Moony’s Mate

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places, spells, incantations, charms, potions, etc… in this story.

AN: Thanks to Nagini Crimson for the correct spelling of 'Moony' (I hope I spelled your name right, the site cut off the bottom of the thrid letter in the first word).

Chapter 7: Moony's Mate

Remus woke up in a strange mood, after be jolted awake by a particularly hard kick. He looked to his right to see the other side of the bed was vacant.

"Severus?" he called looking to the door.

No response.

Lupin could start to feel the panic rising in his throat. He threw the covers off, grabbed his wand and headed into the living room.

"Severus?"

Again, there was no response.

"Would Severus intentionally ignore me?" Remus wondered. It's not like the snarky Potion's Master hadn't in the past. Lupin could feel his jaw setting. If Severus was indeed ignoring him, there was one sure fire way to get his attention. It was crude, yes, but would definitely work in this kind of emergency.

"Hey, Snivillus!" yelled Remus.

BAM!-A door behind the werewolf flew open.

"How dare you use that name," growled Snape as he walked out of his office with a vial in hand.

Lupin spun around and all but pounced on, "Severus!"

"Unhand me, Lupin!" snapped Snape, who was still pretty peeved with the usage of his old nickname, "What has gotten into you!"

"I woke up and you weren't there!"

"I normally not there!" the Potion's Master pointed out.

"Well, yes…but…uh…" that was when Remus picked up on Severus' sandalwood aftershave _Sniff, Sniff_ "You smell really good."

"Are you feeling quite sane, Lupin?" asked Snape raising a flawless black eyebrow and holding the seemingly deranged werewolf at arms length.

"I'm fine!" Remus huffed, "Merlin, there's gratitude for you! Don't worry, _Sev_, I won't concern myself with your whereabouts again!"

Snape breathed an internal sigh of relief, "Just hormones again," he thought.

"It's only eight in the morning, Lupin, why don't you go back to sleep for a few hours?"

"I'm not tired." said Remus casually, "I'll read until the house elves bring breakfast."

---

Dumbledore's Office

"This is most troubling," said Dumbledore once Molly had finished her report of Harry's irregular behavior as of late, "most troubling indeed."

Fawkes gave a squawk of agreement from his perch.

"I was wondering if you could contact Remus and send him over to the house sometime this week. Given his connection to Sirius, I think Harry would feel better talking to him," said Molly.

"I'll see what I can do." Albus assured her, "Although, it might take a few days. You see, I currently have Remus working on a special project with Severus and I don't know when he can get away."

"Their working on the project together!" questioned Molly, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It's the best one I've had since I charmed my socks to hold an endless supply of lemon drops."

---

Percy's Flat

9 am

The fireplace in Percy's living room lit up with green flames and Draco stumbled through and began searching for the flat's renter.

"Percy?-Percy!" Draco called as he frantically searched the rooms.

Searching only took about three minutes before the Malfoy heir found his father's secretary asleep in bed.

"Percy, wake up! I'm really in the shite!"

"Penelope, will you make me the happiest wizard alive and become Mrs. Minister of Magic?" said Percy in fanciful voice to his pillow. Obviously he was still off somewhere, far-far away in dreamland.

"Dammit, wake up," Draco seized Percy's pillow raised it over his head and brought it down with gusto down on the sleeping Weasley's head with a satisfying-**FWAP!**

"AAAAhhhhhh!"

**THUD!**

A very startled Percy rolled out of bed and landed on the floor.

"Draco?" questioned Percy, squinting at the light that came in through the rip in the window shade.

"Who were you expecting? The upstairs maid?" asked Draco raising an eyebrow.

"I live in a flat. There are no stairs." said a still very groggy Percy, "Not to be rude but, why are you...Oh!"

"As much as it pains me to ask you: a Gryffindor and a Weasley, what am I supposed to do!" Draco asked melodramatically.

It took all of Percy's self-restraint not to roll his eyes and sigh. Rather he just asked, "Can I put some trousers on first?"

"Oh, sure…"said Draco looking around and spotting a pair of trousers on the bureau, "Here." The Malfoy heir threw them at Percy.

There was a pause as the two regarded each other.

"Why don't you go put some tea on while I get dressed?" suggested Percy.

"What am I, a house elf!" asked Draco indignantly, as he wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Just wait in the sitting room," said Percy wearily.

---

Snape's Quarters

Well, as I'm sure you guessed, Snape went back to work in his office with the door propped open and Lupin read on the couch for about ten minutes before falling asleep.

Ever since the conception of the puppy, Remus and Moony had a much better relationship. Prior, Moony had wreaked havoc in Remus' subconscious. Remus would be having a nice dream about his Hogwarts days with the Marauders when all of a sudden the sky and all of his surroundings would go black. The faces of the teenaged versions of his friends would fade into the darkness, still laughing and smiling, frozen in time forever, only to be replaced by Moony's heavy breathing, glowing gold eyes and continual growling. When he was a little boy, Remus would cower in the darkness and cry, but after meeting his friends he set up a make shift campsite with a small crackling campfire, a sleeping bag, and a copy of his favorite book, although, now, with the puppy on the way, the two had finally been able to reconcile. They were still surrounded by darkness, but the campfire had been replaced by a modest fireplace with a hearth and the sleeping bagwith a red and gold upholstered, wing backed chair along with an oriental rug. On the hearth sat a picture of Sirius in brass frame.

Remus still read his favorite book, only now he was joined by Moony, who would stretch out in front of the fire on the rug and nap. However, this particular time, Moony was rather restless, adjusting his position every few minutes and glancing up at the hearth. At first, Moony's strange behavior had put Remus on edge, but he eventually decided the wolf's constant shifting was just his way of anticipating the puppy's arrival.

"Easy, Moony," said Remus smiling as he ran a hand over his stomach, "we still have a few months yet, just be patient."

The next thing Lupin knew, Moony had jumped up and snatched Sirius' picture from the mantel.

"Hey!" exclaimed Remus, putting his book down, "Give that back, Moony!"

A tug of war ensued between the two. Moony pulled at the bottom of the frame and Remus yanked from the top.

As they pulled, the image of Sirius began to run. The dye ran out of the frame and onto the rug.

Once all the ink had run, a new image began to appear.

It was an image of, "Severus!" Remus woke with start.

The picture frame became the book Remus had reading and Moony morphed into Snape, who had been in the process of taking the book off Remus' chest and putting it on the coffee table, so the lycanthrope could sleep more comfortably.

Remus stopped struggling and gently released the book.

"You dream about the wolf?" asked Severus intrigued, for once, with the werewolf's presence in his quarters.

"It's…uh…a little more complex then that," explained Remus politely, not really wanting to go any further in detail.

Severus would have pushed the issue further, but luckily for Remus there came a knock at the door.

Snape put the book down and answered the door. Upon seeing who was on the other he gave the disdainful greeting of, "Hello, Headmaster."

"Good Morning, Severus." said Dumbledore cheerfully with the ever present twinkle shining like a beacon from a lighthouse on a foggy night, "Is Remus awake yet I'd like to speak with him?"

The Potions Master opened the door wider, so Albus could see Lupin sitting up on the couch.

"Ah, good." said Dumbledore walking right past Severus, "I was wondering if you're feeling well enough to spend an afternoon at the Burrow."

---

Percy's Flat

9:10 am

"So you're saying, there's absolutely nothing I can do?" Draco said as he paced the length of the sitting room.

"At this point, no," responded Percy as he lifted his tea cup off its saucer.

"Can't I at least confront them about it?" asked Draco.

"No!" exclaimed Percy, choking on the sip of tea he just took, "Definitely not! Parents get very strange about that. I'm sure they have it all worked out when they're going to tell you and getting ahead of their plans would jeopardize your position. Trust me, it's happened to me enough."

"What do you mean 'jeopardize my position'?" Draco persisted.

"If you confront them ahead of time and accuse them of keeping it from you, you make yourself out to be a threat by arguing against their choice to have a baby in the first place. For all you know, they just want one of each and this whole baby thing really isn't a danger to you at all."

"'One of each'?" Draco was confused, always thinking of himself as the complete package as an heir.

"A boy and a girl," said Percy flatly.

"Oh," said Draco taking it in for a moment, "…I suppose I could see that. (sigh) What a relief. A girl will only require a dowry, all the Malfoy estates and wealth will still be passed on to me because I'll carry on the Malfoy name. Thanks Percy!"

With that Draco took a fist full of floo powder, shouted "Malfoy Manner" into the fireplace and disappeared in a surge of green flames.

Percy just stared at the fire place where Draco had just departed. "Talk about a one track mind," he mused downing the last of his tea and then apperating to work.

---

In a word: Disaster.

Molly Weasley had returned home to a disaster!

Her kitchen was in shambles. It looked like El Nino had thrown a party and forgotten to clean up.

The milk had been left out. At least a dozen eggs had somehow missed their mark and landed either on the counter on or the floor. Pancake batter had gotten all over the walls, floor and ceiling. Dirty measuring cups, cooking utensils and orange rinds, from squeezing fresh orange juice, littered the counter on account of the sink being over with, seemingly, every pot and pan the Weasley's owned. All piled on top of one another, the pots and pans took on the look of a metal Mt. Everest. And making it look all the more authentic by resembling the snowy peak was the light dusting of flour that cover covered the entire room.

At the table sat Arthur, Ron, Ginny, Harry and the twins, who had stopped in for a quick bite on their way to opening the shop. Along with the kitchen, they were wearing every ingredient that had gone into making breakfast. All six of them looked extremely pleased that they were able to prepare the meal themselves.

"Ah, Molly, your back," said Arthur cheerfully to his wide eyed and horror stricken wife, "are you hungry?"

"GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" the Weasley matron bellowed.

"Looks like the free handouts are over," said Fred to George.

"Never mind that, mate," said George grabbing is brother by the arm, as their younger siblings and Harry scattered, "RUN!"

Needless to say, that was the last time Arthur was ever left to prepare a meal.


	8. Burrow Bonding

A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places, spells, incantations, charms, potions, etc… in this story.

Sorry for the delay, but as you can see this is the longest chapter I've written.

Chapter 8: Burrow Bonding

Draco returned home to an empty manor, save for the house elves of course. Lucius was at work and Narcissa was off to a sale of evening gowns at Madame Mankin's.

As he passed a mirror in the hallway, Draco checked his reflection, smoothing down his eyebrows and tucking a stray strand of platinum hair behind his ear. Grabbing an apple from a fruit bowl, on a table, under the mirror, the Malfoy heir proceeded into the same sitting room his parents had been in the night before.

He took a seat on the couch and began to contemplate having a little sister.

"It probably won't be so bad. At the very least, she'll have the Malfoy traits: blonde hair and grey eyes and, of course, be in Slytherin. It might be nice to have someone follow in my footsteps at Hogwarts. I could show her all the ropes and it would probably Uncle Sev some good to have a goddaughter. Who knows he might even lighten up…hmmm… nah. Not to mention the fact I could use any bloke stupid enough to dump her for dueling practice." Draco thought as he munched his apple, "This might not be so bad."

That's when Draco noticed the catalogue his mother had been flipping through. She had left it on the end table open to the page she had been discussing with Lucius. However, there was just one problem. The color of the linens circled to be purchased with the bed were…blue.

Thunk!

The apple Draco was eating fell out of his mouth and hit the floor.

---

"Of course I'll go see Harry at the Burrow!" exclaimed Remus, "Merlin, why didn't Molly come sooner! I'll leave right now!" The werewolf jumped to his feet and lost all the color in his face, "-Right after I throw up!"

Remus then proceeded to make a mad dash for the loo.

HURK!

CoughCough

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Black is on the other side laughing at me. I just know it." Reluctantly, Snape rose from his chair and went after Lupin.

Dumbledore, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, called after Severus, "Splendid, you clean Remus up and I'll ring for breakfast."

"Old man, I swear-" Severus began.

HURK!

"-Hold that thought!" the snarky Potions Master said as he dashed after the werewolf.

---

After throwing up in the nearest bathroom sink, Draco wandered around the house aimlessly. The house elves eventually noticed something was amiss with their young master and being generally good natured, gently guided him to his room.

Upon reaching his quarters Draco flopped down on his oversized canopy bed, covered in linens of white and silver, and began to sulk.

"No wonder their holding off on telling me," he thought miserably, "they're replacing me!"

A soft pop interrupted Draco's ravings.

The blonde looked up to see an ancient house elf by the name of Nana. She had taken care of Draco as an infant, as well as Lucius before him (we're talking **old**!). She was the only one among the fleet of house elves working for the Malfoy's that dared to call her employers by their first names. More than anything, it was her years of service and advanced age that made her bold.

Nearly half the size of a normal house elf due to her hunched back, Nana's appearance commanded respect. A knitted shawl around her shoulders brought out her maternal qualities.

"What's the matter, Draco?" she asked gently.

"Nothing," said Draco in the manner of a petulant five year old.

Nana knew better than to push Draco when he was in a pissy mood. Ever since he was a baby, Draco had been just like his father. If there was one thing she had learned in all her time in service, Malfoy men need to work their problems out on their own and at a ten mile radius of anything living or expensive and breakable.

There was nothing she could do, but make the comment, "Very well, then. I'll press your clothes for dinner."

Another soft pop and she was gone, leaving Draco to his solitude.

The blonde bombshell sighed despondently and dropped face first into his pillow.

---

The Burrow

11:30 am

Remus flooed from Severus' fireplace to the Weasley's living room where an anxious Molly and Arthur were waiting impatiently.

"Remus, dear, there you are we were beginning to worry," said Molly warmly as she stepped forward to hug the werewolf.

Remus caught her hands quickly and held her at arms length. The thicker brown robes Snape had provided were still able to hide his expanding waste line. However, they weren't enough to stop Molly from feeling the bulge or the baby moving.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I'm rather concerned about Harry."

"Yes, of course. He's upstairs." said Arthur stepping forward and placing a hand on Remus' shoulder, "Dumbledore must be paying well, your robe…it's beautifully made."

"Dumbledore paying me?" Remus asked, rather confused.

"For the project you're working on with Severus," clarified Molly.

"Wha?-Oh, yes he is…the project, right. Where did you say Harry was, again?" inquired Remus somewhat nervously. He abhorred lying, but for now he thought it best to keep up with the façade.

"Upstairs, in the guestroom," said Arthur.

"Great, thank you," Remus called over his shoulder as he headed toward the stairwell with Molly in his wake.

Upstairs Harry was sitting on a windowsill over looking the backyard. The twins were sitting under a tree bouncing product ideas off each other, while Ron gave Ginny instruction on evasive broomstick maneuvers. The bespectacled boy sighed to himself and thought, "How much longer are they going to have me?" Then he shuttered, "How much longer will I have them?"

Harry's thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Weasley barging in, "Oh good, Harry, you're awake. Look who came to see you."

Remus walked into the room.

"I'll just leave you two alone." said Molly heading for the door, "Lunch will be along shortly."

"Hi Harry," Remus said cheerfully as he crossed the room.

"What do you want?" Harry asked glowering.

Remus dropped his carefree demeanor, "We need to talk. Everyone's worried about you."

"We have nothing to talk about," said Harry simply. With that he turned his attentions back to the window.

"Yes, we do. We have a lot to talk about!" Remus placed a hand on the young wizard's shoulder.

Harry recoiled like he'd been stung. "Don't touch me," he hissed.

"What's your problem?" growled Remus. Moony was itching to discipline his former mate's charge for such brash behavior.

"You are!" snapped Harry jumping to his feet, "How could you! You betrayed Sirius-He was your mate and you betrayed him!"

"What!" gasped Remus, dumbstruck, not believing what the teenager had just said.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?-You're carrying Snape's spawn!" Harry was nearly shouting by now as he pointed at Remus' midsection.

Good thing Harry had put a silencing charm on the room shortly after his little heart to heart with Arthur. Otherwise the better part of the area could have heard the transpiring conversation.

The werewolf placed a protective hand over his stomach, "How do you know about…" he trailed off.

"That day when you found out you were pregnant, I was at the door of the infirmary. I'd gotten a splinter from my broom. I saw the whole thing! Snape, he was there with you!"

Obviously, Harry hadn't heard all of the conversation.

Remus' eyes started to glow. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Moony, please let me handle this."

"Moony?" asked Harry wide eyed, "But it's no where near the full moon."

Lupin pinched the bridge of his nose, "It's because of the baby. I don't transform during the full moon anymore and as a side effect Moony can manifest at will. Although, so far he's only done it when he thinks the baby's in danger. He decided to make a guest appearance after the last Order meeting when Molly was yelling at me about not going to see Poppy. Dumbledore had Severus take me to the Hogwart's infirmary. Harry, it's not Snape's baby. Sirius is the father."

"What!-I-but…bloody hell…Sirius," Harry's voice started to waver, "Remus…I'm so sorry," the bespectacled boy closed his eyes, "I'm such a prat!"

"Harry it's alright. Granted you shouldn't have been eavesdropping…" Lupin trailed off disapprovingly.

"I know," said Harry looking down at his shoes remorsefully.

Remus couldn't help but smile. That was the exact same stance James used to take whenever Prof. McGonagall had to punish him, which was quite often.

"Feel better now?" asked Lupin pulling Harry into a hug.

"Ya, I guess. Now I'm just tired is all," Harry reasoned.

"Well, let's lie down, but first you have to promise not to say anything about the baby," said Remus seriously.

"Uh, sure," said Harry, "but why?"

"Everyone already has so much to worry about with Order and the Dark Lord. I don't want them to be concerned about me too." Lupin explained.

"Oh, well that makes…whoa!" Harry jumped back, "What was that!"

"A kick. Here, give me your hand," Remus positioned Harry's hand on his stomach so he could feel the baby move again.

"Does it do that a lot?" asked Potter.

"Yes, he moves quite often," said Remus.

"He?" asked Harry.

"It's a boy," clarified Remus.

"Oh…" Harry looked off to the side as memories of his godfather sprang to mind.

"What's wrong?" asked Remus.

"Sirius would have made a great father."

"I know," said Remus mournfully.

10 min. later…

Molly came up stairs and walked into the guestroom, "Boys, lunch is-oh."

Remus and Harry had fallen asleep on top of the bed.

"Finally," Molly gave a sigh of relief as she quietly shut the door and headed back to the kitchen.

Downstairs, Arthur had just taken his seat after calling the children in. "Where are Harry and Remus?" he asked his wife.

"Asleep," said Molly, "hopefully for the rest of the afternoon."

---

Later that evening

Malfoy Manner

The lord and lady of the house were sitting down to dinner when they noticed something out of the ordinary. Their son was missing from the dinner table, not only him but his place setting as well, which was very odd considering Draco normally asked one of them before making alternate dinner plans.

"Did Draco talk to you earlier?" Lucius asked his wife.

"No. I assumed he'd owled you at work," responded Narcissa.

"Sparkle!" Lucius shouted.

A scrawny house elf popped into the room, "How can Sparkle be helping Master and Mistress this evening?"

"Where is our son?" Lucius demanded.

"Master Draco is being in his room since gettings sick this morning," the house elf explained.

SMASH!

Lucius had broken his plate over the house elf's head in a fit of rage.

"Insolent piece of filth! Why weren't we notified!" Lucius roared.

"M-Master Draco tolds us not to," the now trembling elf replied.

"Is that so?" asked Lucius pushing his chair away from the table. He threw his napkin down and headed for the stairwell, "Come, Narcissa!"

Lucius marched out of the dining room and up to his study with his wife in tow. There they put in a call to Dr. Hart, who rushed over to find Draco the way Nana had left him, face down in his pillow.

12 minutes of wand waving later and Dr. Hart gave his report:

"Nothing seems to be wrong with him other than being depressed," said Dr. Hart, "Do you know if something happened at the end of the school year? Sometimes these things take a while to sink in."

"No, he hasn't said anything," said Narcissa and she knew he wouldn't. Lucius had trained him too well to tell them what was bothering him. She would have to take matters into her own hands…That is, as soon as she came up with a plan.

"Well, I would advise talking to him," recommended Dr. Hart taking his leave once again, "before these symptoms become any worse. I'll check in next week. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dr. Hart," said Mrs. Malfoy with worry in her voice.

Once the physician had disappeared, Lucius sank into the chair behind his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose.

The clock on the mantle struck 8.

Narcissa sat down across from him deep in thought, "You don't think he got that Pansy girl up the duff do you?" she shuddered.

"Pansy?" Lucius asked.

"The Parkinson's girl," Narcissa clarified.

Lucius wrinkled his nose, "He better not have! Great Merlin's ghost, we can't risk facial features like that in the Malfoy line!"

"Hmmm…Now that I think about it more. We most likely would have heard from them by now, so there's probably nothing to worry about there. Do you think he was replaced by another seeker?"

"No, Snape would have sent word," Lucius reasoned.

"Well, I don't hear you coming up with any scenarios!" accused Narcissa who had been shot down enough for one night.

"I don't know what's wrong with him!" snapped Lucius, "Draco's never acted like this before. He's sick and he's moody all the time."

There was a pause.

Narcissa's eyes widened, "You don't think…"

Lord Malfoy leapt to his feet and headed down the hall to his son's room. Once there he pulled out his wand and gently levitated Draco to turn him face up. Narcissa came in quietly after Lucius and pulled her son's shirt up.

Lucius mumbled a quick incantation and a soft yellow light shot out of the tip of his wand and engulfed Draco's torso. Then it just dissipated.

The married couple breathed a sigh of relief and tucked their son in for the night.

Out in the hallway, Lucius quietly closed the door behind them, "As relieved as I'm that we're not expecting a grandchild before Draco graduates, it makes the situation that more confounded."

Narcissa's mind was made up, "I'm going to see Severus first thing in the morning."

"Vertaserum?" asked Lucius.

"Yes, tomorrow at dinner."

With the plan in place, the two parted ways to their respective wings of the manor for the night.

---

8:30 pm

The Burrow

Snape stepped through the fireplace holding a thick, black wool cloak much to the surprise of Weasleys.

THUD!

RAWR!

SMACK!-"Ow!-Bloody hell!"

SMASH!

Fred or was it Gorege? Fell off the couch, Ginny dropped the cat, Ron walked into a wall and Arthur dropped a dish he was clearing from the table. Only the Weasley matron was able to retain her composure.

"Severus, what brings you here at this hour?" asked Molly politely, "Can I offer you anything?"

"Where's Lupin?" demanded Snape.

"Asleep in the guestroom with Harry," said Molly pointing to the stairs.

In the guest Remus and Harry had been asleep since before lunch and hadn't stirred up until this point.

BAM!

Snape threw the door open with surprising force, startling the two slumbering on the bed back to consciousness rather harshly.

"What the-Professor Snape!" Harry asked in disbelief. He didn't have his glasses on, but he could only think of one black blob that could possibly be that tall.

"Severus?" Remus asked groggily.

Fwap!

Snape threw the cloak he was holding at Remus, "Put that on and meet me downstairs," he snapped.

With that the Potions Master turned on his heel and headed back down the stairs.

"Is he always like that?" Harry asked Remus.

"Yes," sighed Remus tiredly pulling the cloak on and getting to his feet.

When the werewolf was at the threshold of the room, Harry called, "Remus?"

"Hm?" Remus looked over his shoulder.

"Thanks…for the talk."

Lupin smiled. "Anytime," he said as he started forward.

"Uh…" Harry paused.

Remus sighed, there was something on the young wizard's mind, "Just ask Harry, Snape's not going to wait much longer, here of all places."

"Have you thought about the baby's godfather yet?"


	9. Neighborly Narcissa

Chapter 9: Neighborly Narcissa

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, places, potions, spells, charms, hexes, etc…

Chez Snape

8:45 pm

The flames in the fireplace reared up and turned green. Remus stepped through followed closely by Severus.

As the two began to dust themselves off, Snape began his tirade:

"Honestly, Lupin, what were you thinking!" snapped the Potions Master.

"Uh, maybe that Harry needed me and, as I didn't have any previous engagements, I should be at his side. Did it ever occur to you, since Sirius died, I'm the closest thing Harry has to a biological parent!"

"As much as my heart bleeds for Potter," Snape deadpanned, receiving a glare from the werewolf, "did it ever occur to you that one of the members of the inner circle could drop by unannounced at any point?"

"So?" asked Remus crossing his arms defiantly.

"Where am I supposed to tell them you are-taking a nap with the Dark Lord's arch nemesis- Harry **bloody** Potter!"

"Severus, you needn't be so melodramatic," Remus sighed as he began to remove the black cloak Snape had brought for him, "I'm supposed to be your spouse right?"

"So Dumbledore dictated," said the Potions Master frowning.

"Well, just tell them I'm off planning a function and I'm having a hard time finding napkins to match my color scheme."

Snape arched an eyebrow in amusement and sat down in one of the winged backed chairs, "And what colors would those be?"

"Salmon and puce," stated Remus confidently.

"Puce?" inquired Severus.

"Yes, solely because I've never seen it before."

"I see." said Snape quietly, "I suppose it does make sense…"

"Thank you," said Remus in a self-assured tone.

"…seeing as you've already assumed the role of the wife," continued Snaped, glancing at Lupin's midsection, "not to mention the fact you're a few inches shorter than me."

Remus sent the Potions master a withering stare.

Severus just smirked, much to the lycanthrope's distaste. "Lupin, please, I patented that look as a first year and further more there's a problem with your story."

"What?" Remus arched an eyebrow.

"I don't belong to any societies or clubs. Therefore, you couldn't be organizing an event." With that having been said, Snape rose from his chair, "Put in a dinner order. I'm going to take a shower."

Remus reluctantly put in the order with Dobby and fought the morbid curiosity to have the house elf "accidently" walk in on Snape and see if he was washing his hair.

After dinner, Snape headed to his office and Remus went to read in bed. Just when Remus was really getting into his book Severus walked in and with a flick of his wand readied himself for bed.

Lupin glanced over at the clock, 10:34.

"Turing in a little early aren't you?" questioned the werewolf.

"Dealing with Weasley's takes it out of me," commented Snape climbing into bed and removing a book from the nightstand on his side.

---

Later that night, Remus was asleep. Once again he was reading his favorite book by the fire. Only this time Moony was nowhere to be seen.

Remus shrugged and settled into his chair. He figured the wolf had decided to give him some space after the spat they'd had earlier.

About the time Lupin finished the chapter he was reading, he noticed the picture of Sirius was missing.

Remus gave an irritated sighed and slammed his book shut, "Alright, Moony, where is it?"

No response.

"Moony, come here," Remus was rather cross at this point.

There was a pause before Moony came out of the shadows pushing a heavy, wooden box with his head. On top of all of the junk in the box sat the frame Sirius' picture had been in, face down.

"You fixed it," said Remus smiling as he turned the frame over to see the image of Snape that had replaced Black's image from before.

"Moony!" Lupin snapped, "This frame is supposed to hold a picture Sirius not Severus!" he paused and looked down at the box, "What is this stuff anyway?"

In the box were flasks, burners, a few old text books and all the ingredients needed to make the wolfsbane potion.

"Where are you going with all of this?" Remus questioned his bad half.

Moony looked beyond Remus to an open doorway. It was to the left of the fireplace.

"Where did that come from!" then it finally dawned on Remus what Moony was attempting to do, "…Moony, no! Severus isn't my new mate."

His canine counter part gave his left hand a scrutinizing glare.

Remus followed the gaze and sighed, "I know. Severus and I are wearing wedding bands, but it doesn't mean the same thing as when Sirius and I wore them."

Moony snorted in disbelief.

Lupin sighed and knelt down so he and the wolf were nose to nose. Putting his hands on Moony's sides to guarantee his full attention, Remus tried to better explain the situation they were in.

In mid explanation, Remus received a rude awakening from a less than amused…

"Severus?..." asked a very groggy werewolf.

Remus only vaguely made note that he and Snape were in the position he had been with Moony: nose to nose.

"Merlin's balls, Lupin!" exclaimed Snape, before continuing in his haughty aristocratic tone, "Has it ever occurred to you that we are currently laying on a king-sized bed?"

Remus sighed, "I don't know. Has it ever occurred to you that it could be potentially hazardous to your health to wake a sleeping, let alone pregnant, werewolf?-Get to the point, I was in the middle of something."

Severus' eyes were smoldering, "I'll say you were in the middle of something. You were in the middle of asphyxiating me with your dog breath!"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Would you mind getting to the point? I'm still tired."

"There's a whole other side to the bed-sleep on it!"

"But its cold," whined the sleep deprived werewolf.

Snape huffed and got out of bed, but not before growling, "You're lucky I've a complex potion to brew."

"Mm-Hm, love you too, Sev," said Remus sarcastically as moved over into the warm spot Snape had just vacated.

Lupin couldn't see it, but that last comment had set his former colleague's eye twitching.

"Bloody werewolf," cursed the Potions Master under his breath.

"I heard that!" said Remus loudly from under the covers with his eyes closed.

"I don't care!" yelled Snape.

The lycanthrope couldn't help, but chuckle when he heard the door to Severus' private lab slam shut.

"Point, Lupin," Remus murmured, smiling drowsily.

---

It was half past noon when Remus regained consciousness. He had spent those past hours of sleep still trying to convince Moony that he and Severus were not mates or even on good terms in Severus' mind. But to no avail.

Remus sat up in bed and sighed, thinking back to how long it had taken him to convince Moony that Sirius was their mate. For some reason, probably because he didn't want to, Moony just couldn't wrap his head around the human custom of wedding rings equaling two people being each others' mates.

By the time the full moon came around, Moony still wasn't convinced and attacked Sirius before he could revert to his animigus form. Unfortunately, the wolf pounced on a very strategic spot, which put quite a damper on the honeymoon and earned many a chuckle in the ER at St. Mungo's the next morning, much to Sirius' annoyance.

What it finally came down to was Remus swearing to Moony, on pain of death, that in addition to meaning to people were mates, wedding rings also meant there would be wolf cubs…at some point. Lupin thought it best to leave that open ended, as he and Sirius were going through a lot at that point.

After taking a shower, Lupin thought it best to take a brake from explaining the finer points of the Wizarding World's marriage laws and regulations and retired to the living room to read.

At two in the afternoon, Severus had yet to reappear. And Remus, not in the mood to wait any longer, put in a lunch order with Dobby. By the time he had finished, the lycanthrope was drowsy once again and went back for the next round of debate with the wolf.

It quickly became obvious that Moony was all talked out on the subject as his eyes started to glaze over.

Remus sighed and just decided to embrace the truth, "You don't believe me, do you?"

Moony shook out his fur, as if he just had a bath, signifying the negative.

"I thought as much," said Remus sinking down into his chair.

A staring contest ensued. Three minutes in Moony looked away.

Remus' face contorted into a look of disbelief as he thought, "Since when has he let me…"

"…win," Lupin finished the thought as he woke up to see Snape looking for a book.

"Severus, what are you looking for?"

"_Rare Seasonal Ingredients of the Southern Hemisphere_," said Snape only half paying attention.

"Does it have gold binding? And is it bound in black leather?"

"Yes, where did you see it?" asked Severus spinning around.

"It's on the coffee table, here."

Lupin got up and took the book from the table. Walking over to Severus, Remus noticed he felt a little strange. He tried to shrug it off, but to no avail, his began to turn gold.

Severus didn't notice. He just accepted the book and mumbled something incoherent, probably a begrudging thanks, before beginning to flip through the tome.

Before Remus could stop himself he'd grabbed the unsuspecting Potions Master about the neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

THUD!-Snape dropped the book in surprise and was about to give the werewolf a severe tongue lashing (the verbal one!-Were not to **that** part of the story…yet. Stay with me!).

The kiss had distracted the two from noticing the flames in the fireplace turning green.

"Is this a bad time?" came a voice from by the fire.

Crak!-The voice startled Snape so much that he head-butted his former school mate.

"Ow!" yelped Remus rushing his hand to his forehead.

"Ah…" breathed Severus rubbing his own forehead, "Narcissa! What are you doing here?"

Narcissa delicately removed her cloak and said, "I was in the neighborhood and decided to pay you a visit. It is tea time. Don't get me wrong I would have stopped by earlier, but there was a sale on in Diagon Ally…So, this is Romulus?"

"Remus." growled Snape as he turned to face her.

She took a seat in one of the wing backed chairs and smiled softly.

It was obvious she wouldn't leave without a fight, not that the snaky Potions Master extraordinaire wasn't up to the challenge, "As much as we'd love to have you stay, I am right in the middle of a particularly delicate brewing operation, so if you don't…"

KA-BOOM!

"Bloody Hell!" cursed Snape.

"Well it would appear your schedule has just been cleared," said the former Miss Black mildly.

Snape sneered and turned to head for his lab to assess the damage when Remus grabbed his arm. The Potions Master turned back to find his former colleague giving him a "don't-you-think-for-one-minute-you're-leaving-me-alone-with-this-woman" look.

"Ugh," Sev knew he had lost this round. Damn that woman, he didn't know how Lucius could stand being married to her and never winning any arguments. Merlin knew, to this day the Potions Professor had never won any round against her. No wonder Lucius was so nasty in public, it was the only place he go to wear the pants in the family with a wife Narcissa at home.

Reluctantly guiding his "spouse" to the couch and sitting down he called for Dobby and put in a tea order.

The conversation started out fluffy enough, consisting primarily of the weather, but Mrs. Malfoy quickly ended that:

"Have you started to decorate the nursery?" Narcissa asked.

"No, we really haven't done much of anything," said Remus, "other than getting acclimated to married life."

"Oh good," said Mrs. Malfoy, "Lucius and I insist upon starting a trust fund and furnishing the nursery."

"That's very generous, but I wouldn't want you to go out of your way on our account," said Remus, feeling very uncomfortable with the situation at hand, considering the fact that he and Severus weren't really married and that the baby was Sirius'.

"Nonsense," continued Narcissa, "I insist. It's the least Lucius and I can do, after all the years Severus has helped us. Not to mention, I found the most darling blue linens of puppies frolicking in a field to go with the nursery furniture."

Severus couldn't help but roll his eyes at the irony.

"Thank you," said Remus blushing somewhat, "I-We appreciate it." He wasn't sure how to handle a situation like this, seeing as Severus was of no help and, quite frankly, Narcissa scared him beyond all rational thought.

Snape snorted, "Well, now that you've gotten the pleasantries out of way, why are you really here?"

Narcissa looked affronted or rather feigned it.

"Severus," snapped Remus, "don't be rude!"

"Too late," said Snape smugly.

The werewolf was about to jab the Potions Master in the ribs, but Narcissa broke in.

"Well, seeing as you brought it up, Severus, I suppose I could take an extra vial of vertaserum off you hands, if you have it in stock."

"Vertaserum?" Snape raised an eyebrow, but knew better than to ask. After all he had known her and Lucius to have some rather strange tastes ever since walking in on them accidentally when he was a fifth year and Lucuis was a seventh year. The present day Lord and Lady Malfoy, were betrothed back in those days, and had taken to transfiguration to spice up their weekends. Severus had gone to Lucius' room to return a book and got an eyeful of the upper classmen on top of the bed, which had been turned into a desk, wearing clothes charmed to look like Dumbledore and McGonagall's teaching robes. (And I bet you thought the Marauders traumatized him).

"Yes, I have it in stock," said Snape rising from the couch and heading for his storeroom, twitching slightly.

"He's not one for change," Narcissa addressed the werewolf, once the Potions Master had disappeared into the next room, "Severus. He's stubborn and takes a while to adjust to new situations. Has he been giving you problems, hasn't he?" Mrs. Malfoy got up from her chair and sat down next to Remus on the couch.

"Well…" Remus didn't know exactly how he should go about answering that.

"Don't worry. Lucius was the same way before I had Draco. He knew we had to produce an heir, but he didn't want to give up jet setting on the weekends or a trophy female companion. He practically started to openly look for a mistress."

Remus gave her a shocked look and couldn't help but wonder, "Why is she telling me this?"

"So what did you do?" he asked politely, feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

"I just reminded him of why he married me in the first place and I very much doubt he'll forget it until the day he dies," said Lady Malfoy self-assuredly.

Lupin swallowed hard, knowing he would most likely never be capable of imagining the horrors the seemingly dainty, blonde woman before him had subjected her husband, one of the most feared wizards in the wizzarding world, to.

"However, Severus is going to pose more of a challenge than Lucius seeing as you'll have to prove yourself intellectually as well as physically. But, no matter, there's really nothing to it, if you have someone who has known Severus for decades, like me. All you need to know are two things: 1) Severus tolerates anyone who reads his work and can have an intellectual debate over it with him, and 2) He's ticklish."

"He's ticklish!" Lupin asked incredulously, "Where?"

"His neck," whispered Narcissa conspiritorily.

"His neck?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Why did you think his hair is so long?"

"I honestly had no idea," said Remus as it dawned on him that he'd never really given it any thought. As far as he was the concerned, the hair was just part of the mystique that had always been Snape.

"Go for the neck, next time the two of you have an argument and you're sure to win," said Narcissa smirking, "...you should definitely choose a unique name."

"What…" the werewolf was confused until he saw the Potions Master's shadow coming toward them from the next room, "a great idea."

There was a pause as Severus came out of his office holding a small vial.

"Here's the Vertaserum…" Snape trailed off as he walked back into the room to see both: Narcissa and Lupin, who looked like he was about to bolt, on the couch together.

"Oh, thank you, Severus," said Narcissa accepting the vial. She collected her outer robe and took a handful of floo powder off the mantle. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Remus. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of each other soon-The Ministry!"

She disappeared in a blaze of green flames, leaving the two men in her wake.

"**That**-is the scariest woman I have ever met," said Remus shivering a little.

"Ha, wait until you meet the other Death Eater wives," said Snape turning back to his lab.

"Uh, Severus, about the kiss…" Lupin was about to explain about the misunderstanding with Moony.

"Next time warn me someone's coming by motion to the fireplace." snapped Snape, "My mouth was open for Merlin's sake!"

That's when the Potions Master realized the werewolf was staring at his neck, "What!"

"Nothing," said Remus sheepishly as he picked up the book he had been forced to discard earlier.

---

Meanwhile, back in England, Hermione had just finished reading a letter from a very relieved Harry:

"Dear Mione,

Remus came by the other day to tell me it's Sirius' baby. With any luck he'll let me be the godfather. I'm so excited!

Mrs. Weasley told me he's been staying with Snape, working on some project for the Order. If you ask me Remus is probably keeping an eye on the git for everyone.

Hedwig will wait for a reply.

Hope all is well,

Harry"

"Bloody hell," Hermione swore uncharacteristically, "I hope Remus isn't six months or it'll be too late!"

"Hoo?" Hedwig cocked her head.

"C'mon Hedwig, I'll explain later. We haven't much time," said the bushy haired girl sweeping the owl and a thick, leather bound book into her arms. She ran for the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of floo powder, Hermione stepped in and yelled clearly, "The Burrow!"

AN: Wow, that was along chapter. I don't think the others will be this long and I'm not sure how frequent they will be any more, but fear not as I have not intention of abandoning this, albeit bizarre, tale of intrigue.


	10. Malfoy Maladies

Chapter 10: Malfoy Maladies

Disclaimer: I do not own HP or any other of the subsequent characters, potions, tests, properties, etc...

AN: Thank you all for your patients with the update. I know it took a while and now without further ado the next chapter in our twisted tale!

The Ministry

4 pm

Percy walked down the hall towards his boss' office with official documents (aka insider trading reports) in hand and his nose in the air. With a haughty smirk firmly in place, the Weasley social climber strided up to his employer's door. He made passing note to the fact that Malfoy's door was generally ajar at this time of day, but he just shrugged it off and continued inside where he was met with a sight that would give him nightmares for years to come.

Percy gave the papers he was holding one last look before having the misfortune to glance up-

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

The horror of what he had seen was too much. The room began to spin and then he lost consciousness, sinking to the floor with an ungainly-THUD!

What caused Percy to scream like a little girl and faint, you ask? Well, I can assure it was indeed a ghastly sight.

There-in front of Percy's lifeless body were Lord and Lady Malfoy in flagrente on top of the desk.

No doubt this alone would be enough for you or me to go running and screaming the other way for fear of hexing. However, friends, that is not what caused our young Mr. Weasley to scream like a little girl and pass out. For you see, as the personal assistant of Lucius Malfoy, Percy had walked in on his employer in such compromising positions numerous times in the past, granted this was the first time Lucius had been with his wife, but that's a whole different issue entirely. What caused Percy to fall down into a dead faint was the state of the office.

During Lord and Lady Malfoy's, tryst, shall we say, many bursts of random magic had thrown the office into a state of disarray. The draws had been blow out of the file cabinets and the confidential papers within the files now blanketed the room. In addition to this, the paperwork that needed Lucius' John Hancock for the next department meeting, which was in 15 minutes, had yet to signed and the ficus had been blown clean out its pot.

At first glance, Percy knew it was going to take the better part of a calendar year to get the office back into working order and made the executive decision that a "power nap" was needed before starting in.

The sound of his assistant hitting the floor caught Lucius' attention. He looked over toward the doorway and sighed, commenting to his wife, "Lazy Weasley boy."

"He reminds me of Severus," said Narcissa coming up for air.

Lucius frowned, "How? He's at least a foot too short and wears glasses."

"I meant he reminds me of the time Severus walked in on us in our 7th year. I had come to visit you when you had gotten in trouble for that row during Quiditch Championship. We took the polyjuice to look like Dumbledore and McGonagall and told your parents to meet us early, so we could get their hairs and pose as them the next day in the parent teacher conference with the real Dumbledore and Minerva. We had just returned to your room when the potion wore off. Then Severus barged in, under the guise of returning a book, to see if the polyjuice he brewed had worked and fainted when he saw us like this. Percy is in the same position Severus fell in."

Lucius looked at Percy and cocked his head, "Yes, I suppose he is. All I remember from that weekend is the devil of a time I had getting the Hogwarts' house elves to first steal Dumbledore and McGonagall's robes, then clean them after we were finished with them and sneak them back into their wardrobes, all in one weekend. Although the hardest part was tracking down Severus to get him to brew the potion, in the first place."

"He was a second year then, wasn't he?" asked Narcissa.

"Yes, he was and bloody hard to find. It took me the better part of three hours to locate him. He was holed up in the library behind a book half his size, researching the details of the vertaserum potion…come to think of it not much has changed since then, other than Severus being taller."

"Which reminds me," said Narcissa, "Severus said to put the vertserum in a carbonated alcoholic beverage. That way Draco won't realize we spiked his drink until the potion takes full effect."

---

The Burrow

Inside Ron's closet, which is under a silencing charm.

6: 00 pm

Round about this time, shortly after Hermione had arrived, Ron was well on his way to raiding his father's secret stash of firewhisky under the kitchen sink.

"But isn't he missing parts for that!-I mean, don't men usually have to take a potion to get…well, you know!"

"Merlin's beard, Ron!" exclaimed Hermione in exasperation, "Remus is a male werewolf. He doesn't need a potion to get pregnant!"

"More importantly, I didn't even know they were gay!" insisted the red head.

Hermione sighed, "For the dozenth time!- Remus and Sirius were not 'gay' as modern society has so crassly termed it. Their animalistic qualities sought each other out when suitable female mates of the same k9 species were not available. Besides, psychiatrists have speculated for years that everyone is bisexual, it's only to what degree that separates us."

"Well, I'm not!" said Ron defiantly, as he crossed his arms over his chest, frowned and looked away.

"Getting back to the point!" Harry interrupted frantically, "Now that Sirius is gone Remus needs a new mate before the baby is born!"

"'Cub,' Harry, Remus is having a wolf cub and if he doesn't consciously pick a mate before he reaches six months, the cub will choose for him!"

"And that's bad because?" Ron asked, rejoining the conversation.

"Because Remus is living with Snape and he's just around six months now!" yelled Hermione, "Weren't you paying attention!"

"Well, excuse me for letting the whole 'Remus is up the duff and Sirius is the father' thing distract me, which still doesn't make a whole lot of…"

"Ron!" said Hermione in a warning tone.

"Fine!" huffed Ron.

"How do we know if the cub selected Snape as the new mate and whether Moony accepted him or not?" asked Harry.

Hermione thought for a minute, "We better go check the situation out."

"Bloody hell, you mean go to Snape's to check on Remus!"

"I'll get the cape and map!" exclaimed Harry, worried about Remus and excited to check on him and the baby (er…cub, rather).

"Just let me shrink this book and we'll go," said Hermione drawing her wand out over the heavy leather bound volume.

"You're mad! You're both bloody mad!" insisted Ron, "This is Snape were talking about, he'll kill us before we get to the threshold! ..." Then the red head shivered, "Or worse, he'll keep us alive and test out new potions on us!"

"Oh, honestly, Ron!" said Hermione securing her traveling cloak, "Professor Snape is an accredited Potions Master and educator. He wouldn't do anything to us!"

"I'm going to hold you to that, Hermione," said Ron crossing his arms.

The three crept downstairs past Arthur, who had fallen asleep in the living room reading the paper and left a note for Molly saying that they had gone to eat dinner at Hermione's and would be back later. Then they all packed themselves into fireplace, under the cloak, and flooded to Diagon Alley.

---

Malfoy Manner

6:30 pm

Lucius and Narcissa sat in one of the smaller formal dining rooms of the manner looked at each other from opposite ends of the table – Draco had yet to come down to dinner (or for any other meal that day).

After about 15 minutes Lucius called Nana into the room.

She appeared with a soft pop and look up at her employer, "Yes, Lucius, how may I be serving you this evening?"

Lucius lifted his champagne glass and looked at the amber liquid in deep contemplation, "Have you called Draco for dinner?"

"Yes, but he refuses to come down, again," the ancient elf explained.

"I see." said Lucius, characteristically too calm for the situation, "Go back up stairs and inform Draco that if he ever wishes to receive spending money again, before the family solicitor signs all of the Malfoy estates and accounts over to him on the eve of my funeral, which will not be for a _very_ long time, he will come down to dinner immediately."

Nana nodded and disappeared from the room with another soft pop. The mansion stood still for the next few seconds and then scrambling could be heard from second floor accompanied by some light swearing.

Needless to say, the message the ancient house elf relayed to the Prince of Slytherin lit a fire under his arse. So much so, that Draco had leapt out of bed and grabbed his wand quickly switching his pajamas with the suit Nana had laid out for him earlier. With another wave of the wand he slicked back his hair and then darted out the door. He was half way down the hall before he realized he forgot to put shoes on!

Cursing out loud, he spun around in the hallway and headed back the way he came. Upon re-entering his room, Draco lunged for his closet and grabbed the first shoes within reach. He then ran back out of his room and headed down the hall, nearly taking out an antique vase and a house elf on the way down the hall.

The Malfoy heir charged downstairs, causing quite a ruckus on the stairs as he went, similar to a stampeding wildebeest (like those seen in National Geographic). He skidded to a halt on the Oriental rug lining the hall just before the entrance to the dining room. Taking the time to smooth down his cloths from the sprint from the first to the second floor, Draco then entered the dining room and quickly took his seat on the long side of the table, averting his from his parents' gazes.

Once he had taken his seat, Draco picked a point on the wall opposite him and stared at it. Granted, acting like sullen little prat wasn't the best way to begin handling the situation, but he really didn't care. They were replacing him damn it!

Lucius fought the urge to roll his eyes at his heir's childish behavior.

Narcissa sighed to herself, this was going to be a long meal. She looked at her husband and son, then signaled the house elves to serve to the first course.

Halfway through the second course it became very apparent Draco hadn't drunk any champagne. From the moment he had started the meal, it had seemed very odd that champagne had been served with beef stew, if anything a red wine should have been served and more importantly the hors d'oeurveres had been skipped.

Needless to say, Draco's defenses were running high and Lucius' constant agitated glances in his direction were not helping.

It wasn't until the beginning of the third course that Lucius said something:

"Why, Draco, you must be parched." the Elder Malfoy began, "You haven't touched your champagne."

"I assumed tonight was a special occasion and was waiting for you to make a toast. It is a special occasion isn't it? Why else would champagne be served?" At this point, the younger Malfoy had decided if he had to go out he was going out with a bang, by proving he was a worthy heir.

"Little prat, thinks he's caught me, does he?" thought Lucius as his son looked him directly in the eye for the first time that meal. Casually, Malfoy Senior took a sip of champagne before giving the answer, "Of course it's a special occasion…Narcissa, tell Draco what the occasion is."

It would cost him later, but Lucius was still reeling from his earlier encounter with his wife at the ministry. Which reminded him, he needed to let Percy out of the utility closet when he went in the next day, considering that's where he put his young assistant before running off the meeting.

Narcissa shot her husband a dirty look before addressing her son, "It's the anniversary of our first date."

"Really? Where did you go?" Draco asked his mother, ignoring his father's glare.

"Oh, we…" Narcissa wavered.

"Went to a play." Lucius supplied.

Draco raised an eyebrow, challenging his father, "What was the title of the play?"

"_Much Ado About Nothing_," Lucius growled at his son.

Draco got the message and ended his line of questioning.

All three Malfoy's knew the "first date" story was a complete farce, but they all had to keep playing at it. Lucius and Narcissa had to keep going to cajole their son into taking the vertaserum, while Draco had to keep going for the sake of convincing his parents he was buying their ridiculous tale to figure out just what they were playing at. But then again this was the norm for any well to do family in the wizarding world.

Lucius then proceeded to lift his glass and make an extremely short toast to his wife, "To my beautiful wife, Narcissa, may we have many decades ahead of us to enjoy each other's company." (I told you it was short!)

As Draco put his glass back on the table after taking a drink he knew he had just made a grave tactical error. Swallowing hard, he felt the potion beginning to take affect.

Half temped to stick his finger down his throat, Draco watched his parents casually return to their meals.

"How was school this year, dear?" asked his mother.

"Fine," responded Draco coolly. They may have given him vertaserum, but that didn't mean he was going to make it easy for them!

Both of his parents seemed unfazed by the manner of his response and merely continued their questioning.

"Did you have a falling out with Blaise?" questioned Narcissa.

"No."

"What about Pansy, are the two of you still friends?" Mrs. Malfoy persisted.

"Yes."

"Are you still the seeker on the Slytherin Quiditch team?" Narcissa again.

"Yes."

"Did Severus deduct points from Gryffindor every chance available?" asked Mrs. Mallfoy, just to make sure the potion had taken full effect.

"Yes."

CLINK!

Lucius threw down his fork quickly becoming fed up with the situation, "Are you or are you not going to be a father by the end of this year or within the next year!"

Draco's head snapped in his father's direction so fast he pulled a neck muscle, "Wha-Ouch!-NO!" The potion made him blurt out at the end.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Narcissa breathed a sigh of relief.

Then Draco added, "Of course I'm not going to be a father, you are!"

PFFFFFFFFFFF!-Lucius sprayed his end of the table with a thin film of champagne.

"WHAT!" yelled Narcissa from the other end of the table, reaching for her knife to castrate her husband.

"(cough) Draco, what on earth are you talking about!" demanded Lucius.

"Don't try to deny it!" accused the youngest Malfoy, "I walked in on you two after the Death Eater party at the beginning of the summer."

"Well, that explains a lot," said one house elf to another, at the back of the room.

ZAP!

"Buck, Buck, Be-gok!"

The two house elves were transformed into chickens by Lucius.

"Draco, I'm not pregnant," his mother assured him.

The Malfoy heir's eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he looked back over at his father. "So, they got a potion from Uncle Sev!" he thought conspiratorially.

Lucius anticipating where his son's mind was going jumped in with, "What your mother means is, we're not having any more children. You're always going to be our only child."

"But you were ordering a crib and blue linins!" insisted Draco.

"Those are for Severus. He and Remus are going to have a boy in January," explained Narcissa.

"Oh…HUH!" Draco's head was swimming.

"That's what's been bothering you?" asked Lucius snapping his son out of his initial shock.

"Well, yes," said Draco as if it were the most obvious thing in the wizarding world.

Lucius indulged himself in a small laugh, "Honestly, Draco, you're mother is getting a little old for that?"

"WHAT!" shouted Narcissa.

AN: Due to the graphic nature of the rest of this scene, it has been cut, as it is only suitable for aurors. We apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your understanding.

In the next chapter the Gryffindor trio seeks out Remus in the: Snape's Stress.


	11. Snape's Strife

Chapter 11: Snape's Strife

Disclaimer: All of the characters, who appear in the Harry Potter series that are used in this story, do not belong to me.

(AN: I apologize for this chapter being a bit rough in the way of spelling and grammar. I wanted to post it as soon as possible. I realize some of you have been waiting a long time for an update and I thank you for your patience. On the up side, I believe this is the longest chapter to date. So without further ado…)

Remus awoke with a growl from his nap and sat up stiffly in bed. The bedroom was dark, but he could make out all of the objects in the room as clear as day. Sighing, he ran a hand over his stomach, silently pleading for the incessant kicking to ebb.

Exhaling again, Remus resigned to seek out Snape. He'd found the cub generally let up if he got within close range of Severus. Up until this point, coming into close contact with the snarky Potions Master hadn't been an issue as the baby tended to become frisky in the wee hours of the morning when the odd couple (pun intended) was trying to sleep and Remus would simply spoon up against Severus' back. However, this time it was different. It was only early evening.

Remus wasn't really surprised. He had practically missed tea due to Narcissa's unscheduled visit. The end result of which, caused him to require the very long nap he had just woken up from to shake the encounter off.

The, no longer slender, werewolf padded sleepily into sitting room and plopped down on the couch next to where Severus had buried his nose in a book ( I know what you're thinking. Yes, it was a BIG damn book to conceal that nose!)

Lupin leaned back, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he received a particularly sharp kick to the spleen.

"You should start researching concealing charms," commented Snape, not looking up from his tome, "There's an Order meeting in two weeks, and unless if you're planning on standing through both the meeting and dinner or wearing the comforter off of the bed, someone is going to take notice. And with my luck, it will be Moody who notices, assumes it was me who got you up the duff in the first place and attacks. I will then be forced to defend myself and kill him, in front of a room full of witnesses!"

"Honestly, Severus, Mad-eye is just…protective-"

"I believe you mean psychotic, Lupin." Snape interrupted, while still not looking up from his book, "He turned my godson into a ferret!"

"Not that he didn't deserve it," Remus mumbled under his breath.

"What was that!" demanded Severus in a growl. But never fear, Lupin was all over it.

"Nothing, Sev," said the lycanthrope sleepily.

"Merlin's balls, wolf! Stop calling me by that infernal nickna…" Severus trailed off as the werewolf draped himself around his former schoolmate's shoulders.

"Lupin, what the **Hell** are you doing?" inquired the Potions Master in a voice so soft a normal human would have had trouble picking up on it.

Lupin overlooked the fact that Severus had such a death grip on the book he was holding and that his knuckles had turned bone white against the black leather cover. Rather, the lycanthrope proceeded to make himself more comfortable by resting his head on the most feared Potion Master's shoulder. "He's kicking. This is the only way to calm him down."

"And how would you know that?" asked Snape in a waspish tone.

"Well, whenever he starts kicking in the middle of the night, I can always calm him down by spooning up against you."

Snape's body went rigid. "And what else do to me, while I'm asleep?"

"Braid your hair," said Lupin quickly.

"**WHAT**?" bellowed Snape as he slammed the book shut with a bang and craned his neck to glare menacingly at the Gryffindor.

Remus chuckled and nuzzled into the dark, limp locks, "I'm just kidding."

"Lupin, I swear…" threatened the dark haired wizard as he began to get up.

The lycan quickly pulled the Slytherin back onto the couch and tightened his grip. "Severus, please. Just stay with me, on the couch until he calms down. Then, once he's stopped, I promise I won't bother you for the rest of the night. How's that?"

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fine!-But you have to stay in the bedroom."

"What about the bathroom!"

"Well, of course, you have access to the bathroom," Severus deadpanned, "What? You thought I expected you to piss in the armoire?"

"Well, I don't know!" insisted Remus, "You're you!"

"And what is that supposed to mean!" Severus snapped.

"I don't know. You can be a little off sometimes," Remus explained delicately.

Severus sighed. "Lupin?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"Shut up."

With that Snape took up his tome again and Remus got more comfortable; a little too comfortable in fact. Before he knew what he was doing his shut his eyes and let his body relax. That's when Moony decided to take over.

Within seconds Severus was once again immersed in a scholarly realm all his own. Normally, in such a state, only something on the on the catastrophic scale of Neville Longbottom could shake him from his concentration. However, in this particular instance, something warm and wet on the back of his ear snapped him pack to reality fairly quickly.

Yes, Remus…er…Moony had decided it was time to groom his new mate.

Snape went stock still. Then he jumped and spun around to tower over the werewolf. "Ugh, Lupin!" he rushed a hand to the violated area, "Were you licking me!"

"Huh?" the gold faded from Remus' eyes, as he came back to the present.

"Keep your tongue in your mouth!" snapped Snape.

Lupin sighed and frowned. "Severus, what are you going on about?"

It was at this point Snape's eye started to twitch. Needless to say, the disgruntled Potions Master was seconds away from an explosion to rival that of Neville's cauldrons when there came a knock at the door.

Snape's glare shifted from the werewolf to the door. Whoever was on the other side was in deep trouble. The nerve of someone, interrupting him as he felt a rant coming on!

"Hold that thought." growled Snape as he stalked over to the door in all his bat-like glory before throwing it wide open.

If he thought he was cross as he was about to deal with Lupin, now he was doubly so with what he saw. Or, more correctly, what he didn't see.

"POTTER!"

"Harry?" Remus questioned the empty doorway.

Harry uncloaked himself and his two friends.

"Granger and Weasley, as well, to what do I owe the honor?" asked the Potions Master. His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "You do realize this is summer holiday don't you?-That thing where students and professors have a break from each other to avoid an increase in the homicide rate!"

"Professor, we have to talk to you." Hermione said urgently, "It's of the utmost importance."

"Miss Granger," sighed Severus as he loomed over the Gryffindors in all his bat-like glory, "I am sure whatever inane question you have, about whatever obscure potion ingredient can wait until after the start of term."

"Professor, I can assure you, this has nothing to do with the curriculum." Hermione insisted.

"Nonetheless, it will have to wait."

"Merlin don't push him, Mione!" said Ron in a hushed tone.

"But Professor, it's about Remus and the baby!" Harry blurted out.

Hermione sighed and corrected Harry. "Cub."

"Potter," growled Snape in a warning tone.

"Honestly, Severus, it has to be important if they came all this way." Remus chimed in from the couch.

"Lupin, stay out of this." snapped Snape as he sent a withering glare in the direction of the couch. All the while the dark wizard blocked the threshold.

"It is rather pressing, Professor," Hermione persisted.

"Well, out with it! Then be on your way," demanded the surly Potions Master, "I'll decide just how 'pressing' the matter is."

Remus sighed. "Severus, they've come all this way, the least we can do is invite them to dinner. That is, if this recent discovery isn't life threatening."

"Oh, it isn't," said Hermione quickly, before adding, "…at the moment."

"Quiet, Granger," said Snape giving his full attention to Remus, "There is no 'we,' wolf. This is my house and I have strict policies about when and whom I entertain."

As far as Snape was concerned, he had firmly put his foot down. That is, until he heard footsteps echoing down stone corridors and loud purring.

"Oh bugger, Harry! It's Filtch and Mrs. Norris," said Ron in a hoarse voice, as panic set in.

Before the Golden Trio knew what happened, the most feared professor at Hogwarts swooped forward and pulled all three inside his quarters in a swirl of black fabric and then stepped into the hall, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang. No sooner had Snape closed the door when Filtch and Mrs. Norris rounded the corner.

"Mr. Filtch, what is the meaning of setting off my wards?" demanded Snape.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Professor, but I thought I heard voices coming from this hallway."

"Do you see anyone?" snapped Severus as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"No. Sorry for the interruption."

"See that it doesn't happen again," said Snape in a low town with a scowl firmly in place.

"Yes, sir."

Severus made sure to watch Filtch leave, before heading back in. He wanted to make sure the grounds keeper didn't get any bright ideas about snooping around the dungeons. That's the last thing he needed. He made a mental note to put catnip down to keep Mrs. Norris off the scent.

"Or perhaps I could send Lupin's better half after her," the wicked Potions Master mused.

However, his musings ceased the second he stepped back inside. There, in his living room, sat not one, but four Gryffindors, more than enough to drive any self respecting Slytherin insane.

"Why are they still here!" Snape demanded, willing his voice not to crack. It was shaping up to be a bad night.

"I took the liberty of placing a dinner order, while you were handling Filtch," explained Remus.

Snape's eyes narrowed, "You've been taking a lot of 'liberties' as of late."

"Thank you for helping us, Professor," said Hermione in an attempt to ebb the tension between Snape and Lupin.

"Help you, Miss Granger? Really, after being taught by me for five years, I would hope you would at least realize that I was helping myself. Do you have any idea how difficult it would be to explain your presence in my quarters, let alone over a summer holiday and that you are all here with the werewolf I despise!"

Hermione was about to respond when Dobby popped into the dining room. With a snap of his fingers the table was set for five.

"Lupin, we discussed this before. They can't stay. You know my **_relatives_** have a bad habit of dropping in at odd times."

"Severus, it's not as though don't know a spell to block the fireplace for a few hours," Remus insisted, attempting to remain calm.

"True, but I don't want to block the fireplace because I don't want them to stay." Severus stated as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Remus was on his feet in a split second and in Snape's face with blazing gold eyes. "**Cubs stay!**" he growled in voice too deep to be human.

Dobby retreated under the table at this point, Ron stopped breathing, Harry stared in wonder and Hernione knew to act quickly.

Hermione ran to Remus' side and put a hand on his shoulder, "Of course we're staying. Let's go to the table now."

She managed to lead him away from Snape quite easily.

Severus, hiding how shaken he was, reluctantly took out his wand and with a swish darkened the fireplace. "Eat fast," he said in a deadly tone to the two boys.

Snape hated having Lupin stay with him in such close quarters. It always brought him back to the night he first met Moony face to snout, making him feel like a helpless child. However, come Hell or high water, he would never admit it.

----

Malfoy Manner - 10:00 pm

After a very stressful dinner, Lord and Lady Malfoy once again found themselves in Lucius' study. Only a thin film remained over the bottom of a bottle of Ogden's finest. Forget the frou frou champagne and sparkling wine. It had been a horrific night and it wasn't over yet!

Dr. Hart had just left via floo, after an emergency call to patch Lucius up after Narcissa's little "Silence of the Lambs" episode, and they had just finished the last bottle of Ogden's in the house.

"Maybe we should have asked Dr. Hart to make a recommendation?" suggested Narcissa as she idly twirled her steak knife from dinner in one hand.

"Absolutely not!" snapped Lucius, "No Malfoy has ever needed to see a psychiatrist and Draco is not about to break that tradition."

"Well, he should talk to someone." insisted Narcissa, "Merlin, Lucius, Draco skipped dessert and ran to his room without a word."

"As I recall-**love**-you were wielding a steak knife at the time. I'll be surprised if he ventures out of his room before the end of next week."

"That's exactly what I mean! This situation wouldn't have escalated to the point of homicide if he felt comfortable coming to us."

Lucius cringed to himself. If there was one thing Malfoys, and Slytherins, in general, didn't do it was talk about their feelings-Merlin's balls, they weren't Hufflepuffs! This was uncharted territory as far as Malfoy Sr. was concerned and quite frankly he didn't want to deal with it.

"If only there was a diversion to take Narcissa's mind off Draco," Lucius thought to himself.

Well, dear readers, it is at this point in the story I must remind you of the old adage "be careful what you wish for," because it comes into play right about now…

The fireplace roared to life and the hideous form of the Dark Lord emerged from emerald green flames.

"Lucius, I have a presssng isssue to discusss with you," said Voldemort as he began to pace in front of fireplace.

"Yes, My lord?" asked Lucius.

"Tell me, are you ssstill planning to hold your annual Halloween party?"

Lucius looked over to his wife.

"Yes, of course we are…Or we were. Has something come up?" asked Mrs. Malfoy.

"In a manner of ssspeaking, yes. I was wondering if we could focusss the fessstivities around sssomething other than All Hallows Eve."

"What did you have in mind?" inquired Narcissa.

"I wasss wondering if you would be up to planning a wedding. I know Severus isss married on paper. However, to ensure werewolves' loyalty, I believe something more withstanding is needed, a magical bonding to be precise. Will you make the arrangements?"

"Yes, of course, my lord." Lucius answered quickly.

"Excssellent." The reptilian overlord gave thin and sickly, twisted smile before taking his leave via the fireplace.

The next thing Lucius heard was the most horrible sound a man could ever hear a woman make. It was a shrill squeal of excitement that assured Lucius of two things: 1) he was going to have no peace until November first and 2) more than one of their Gringot's vaults was going to take a hit.

But, on the up side, Narcissa was no longer focused on Draco.

---

After a painfully awkward dinner the Golden Trio, a pissed off Potions Master and a sated werewolf retired to the small sitting room.

"Now, what is so important that you had to rush over here, but not so pressing that you could be distracted by dinner?" Severus interrogated as the other four were sitting down.

"This," said Hermione removing a shrunken tome from her robes.

Severus unshrank the book, opened to the chapter Hermoine had marked.

As Severus's black, beetle eyes darted over the pages at a furious pace, Hermione settled into a winged back chair in front of the fireplace and began to take mental notes on the potions books her professor had around his sitting room. Ron, who was sitting across from her, in the other winged back chair, had been growing more nervous as the evening wore on (They were deep within Slytherin territory where no one could hear them scream for Merlin's sake!). Harry, on the other, was quite content across from his friends and the fire place, seated on the couch with Remus, feeling the cub move.

The tension in the atmosphere only escalated as Snape irritatedly flipped through the pages. However, this book was not enough to fully distract the Potions Master from his surroundings. Most of the facts he already knew and the prose lacked something to be desired. But, then again, it wouldn't be much of a scholarly text if it was available in a public bookstore on Diagon Alley.

"Ganger, stop gawking!-Weasley, breath!-And Potter, this isn't a petting zoo!" snapped Severus before falling silent as he finished the chapter.

Once he was done, he closed the book. "Honestly, Miss Granger I don't know why your knickers are in a knot. There's nothing in this chapter that isn't common knowledge to any Dark Creature or Dark Arts expert, such as myself. It would seem you made this little excursion for naught…Oh, and 50 points from Gryffindor a piece, for harassing a professor."

"**WHAT**?" Ron finally shook off his stupor, jumping to his feet, "You can't do that, school's not in session!"

"It will give you something to look forward to when you return in the fall," Snape informed Ron as he thrust the book in Hermione's direction.

Ron, at this point, had turned the color of his hair and would have surely made a fantastic ass of himself, resulting in the deduction of more points, if Hermione hadn't cut in.

"But Professor Snape, Professor Lupin has to choose a new mate!" insisted Hermione.

"Not until he's 24 weeks," snapped Snape.

"He is," Harry joined the conversation from the couch.

"WHAT?" clearly Severus had lost track of time as the weeks had worn on and his research became more engrossing.

"Don't worry it." Remus assured the others as he settled furthered into the couch.

"The cub already chose a new mate?" asked Hermione.

"Who?" asked Harry.

"I'd like to know that as well," said Snape, raising an eyebrow, "considering other than Narcissa, you've only been around…" The Potions Master trailed off.

There was a pause that seemed to last for eternity.

Then Severus eyes began to smolder.

"Severus, in my defense, I did try to warn you, after Narcissa left," Remus said quickly.

---

Meanwhile, just outside the protective wards two centaurs were crossing through a quiet glade under a waxing half moon.

"Man, where were you last night? Areolas and I went into Amazon Country." (Yes, I realize there are no amazons in the Harry Potter series and quite frankly, as a lover of Classical Mythology, I take issue with that. How can you have centaurs without amazons! I ask you…but, I digress…On with the story!)

"I had century duty and so did you!" snapped the other centaur, "I had to do double duty because of you!"

"Hey, you should have left your post and come to find us."

"Why?"

"Let's just say laundry isn't the only thing Amazon women do together," said the first centaur wagging his eyebrows.

"No way!"

"Way!"

It was at this point the conversation was interrupted by a most disturbing sound. Let's listen in:

"**LUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIN !** "

"What-was that?" the second centaur asked.

"I don't know," said the first, "and I don't want to find out!"

The two centaurs took off at a gallop, heading deeper into the Forbidden Forest.

(AN: I realize the centaurs are a little out of character – work with me!)

**Next up: Order Out of Order**


End file.
